Conversations That Would Never Happen

Lonnie:  Hi Coach.
Coach:  Hi Lonnie. Its good to see you. Did you come to watch the game?
Lonnie:  Well, I came to watch, and play. Can't wait to get a little action.
Coach:  Maybe I should talk to your folks. Are they here?
Lonnie:  Sure, Dad's over by the concession stand.
Coach:  Thanks.

Coach:  Hello Mr. Westfall.
Mr. Westfall:  Hey Coach. How's life? Ready for the game?
Coach:  Ready as we're going to be I guess. We've practiced hard. That's kind of what I need to talk to you about.
Mr. Westfall:  What do you mean?
Coach:  Lonnie hasn't been here in four weeks. He missed eight practices. I actually thought he had quit the team. I can't really let him play today without practicing.
Mr. Westfall:  But he's your best player. Don't you want to win?
Coach:  Lonnie is very talented. But the other kids have practiced and bonded as a team. It just wouldn't be right to start Lonnie and I really don't even think he should play today.
Mr. Westfall:  Coach, the truth is you are not much fun. Your practices are kind of boring. And none of Lonnie's friends are on this team. Most of his friends play for the Warriors so we've been letting him go to their practices. He has a good time there. But, this is still our team so we brought him to play today. You're being very unreasonable, Coach. Just let him play. Let's not turn this in to a difficult situation.

Nope, that conversation would never happen because we take sports very seriously. If we put a child on a team we expect them to be committed to that team. Church however, is another story. If our kid doesn't like something about our church, or someone at the church, or if they have friends at another church, then our solution is to let them go with their friends as often as they want and then come to church with us every now and then.

Let me be clear. Churches are not in competition with one another. I'm not comparing sports and church from the standpoint of competition. I'm comparing sports and church from the standpoint of commitment. We expect our kids to be committed to the team we sign them up for (or that drafts them). If they don't have friends on the team, they make new ones. If they don't like one of the coaches they suck it up and learn to respect authority. But when it comes to church none of that applies. We think of church as a place to make our kids happy. No longer is church about a transcendent cause. Rather it is about fun, feelings, and personal fancies.

Church membership. What does it mean to you? Do you back that up with your actions and how you train your kids?

Some Memorial Day free time

Ahhhh. Finally a chance to relax a little and write something. First, thank you! Thank you to all who have served in our armed forces, and their families, who must also make sacrifices so we can live in a free society. Thanks especially to those whose loved ones paid the ultimate price. Thank you and God bless you.

Krista took Kris out for a birthday outing. Jeremiah is at a friend's house. Jonathan is at a friend's house. I have some precious peace and quiet. Well, except for the sounds of me coughing up my lungs. Still, its good to get a little break. Happy Memorial Day Weekend everyone!

Now, back to what I started several weeks ago. I was talking about how sports have really become an idol in American culture, for sure here in the south. My thesis stems from that. It is that we have really created a monster out of children's sports. We have made sports for kids so ridiculously serious that it is not good for the kids or the parents or the coaches. It has become a place in our society where our depravity frequently gets the best of us.

I gave a couple of examples in the previous post and I feel they are very typical of where we are in America with kid's sports. There is a lot more to say about the issue. However, before delving into more of it, lest you think I'm anti-sports, I want to offer a little personal testimony.

I really like sports. I would say that I "love" sports, but that is part of the problem. I have great parents and they gave me a wonderful childhood. My father really likes sports too. He was an all around athlete in high school. In fact, I'd venture to say he is still one of the best 84 year old golfers around. Because of his interest in sports they were always on in our house on weekends (remember this was back when there were just three channels and sports only aired on Saturdays and Sundays). Actually, one of my fondest childhood memories is that of lying in the living room beside Dad on Saturday nights while he tuned his old transistor radio between college football games. We lived in Oklahoma, but with careful tuning he could listen to several Southwest Conference games in an evening. It was fun!

Couple that with the fact that the kids in my neighborhood were always playing football or basketball or baseball or kickball and the result is that my first grade teacher said I knew more about sports than any little kids she had known. I don't say that to brag but to make the point that I am a sports fan. I am not against sports. They can/should be fun. They can/should be healthy.

However, there can be a dark side to sports as well. By the time I was in junior high football was my idol. I can remember if the Cowboys lost a big game I would become incredibly upset; even to the point of crawling under my bean bag chair and crying. Crying over a game is ridiculous. Thankfully, though, God convinced me of my sin. Between eighth and ninth grades the Holy Spirit really got my attention and showed me that the position of sports in my life (specifically football) rightfully belonged to God. With His help I repented and actually quit football.

Now, I cannot honestly say that I never again gave sports an improper place in my life. However, that was the first big step in getting my priorities straight. The more I have matured intellectually and spiritually the better I have become at keeping sports in their proper perspective.

So, please don't think that I dislike sports or that I look down on those who idolize them. Been there done that. I'm not making these posts to condemn anyone. Hopefully, God can use the ideas here to help put sports in perspective for someone else who needs it. In turn, hopefully, that will allow some children to play sports for the right reasons and in the right atmosphere without overzealous parents and coaches making it a miserable experience rather than a fun one.

Kids and sports

I live in the Bible belt; in fact, pretty much the buckle of the Bible belt. There are a whole lot of born again Christians in Texas. However, we are not a majority by any stretch of the imagination. In the culture at large God is still popular, but it is more akin to the way Santa Clause is popular than to a true widespread recognition of the God of the Bible. Anyone who lives here can tell you that the true objects of worship in this neck of the woods are beer and sports.

Making idols of beer and sports is bad enough, but down here we've developed an especially sad version of sports worship. We have combined the need that many parents have to vicariously live the life of a sports hero through their children with the notion that sports are worthy of worship. This has created a monster of sorts that I have long found to be disturbing. I have wanted to write about this monster often but never seem to get around to it. The other day, however, I heard a story that is very typical of the monster about which I speak. It hit so close to home that I got pretty riled up about it and decided to finally write, or begin writing, some of my thoughts on this monster.

A friend has a child involved in a local Little League baseball program. The child's coach is a man who previously coached one of my kids. I felt at that time that this man took kids' sports way too seriously. Well, the coach said something to the child that bordered on a threat. When the parent confronted the coach he denied it saying that the child had simply misunderstood. A few days later one of the parents witnessed the coach treating several of his players in a way that bordered on physical abuse. Let me take a moment to note that this parent is not an over-reacting whimp like some of you are thinking right now. This man was a soldier and is a sports fan himself. He was not over-reacting.

At this point the parents had knowledge of two extreme incidents in a week's time, their child was rapidly becoming disenchanted with the coach and the sport itself, they wanted to make sure that things did not get any worse. Therefore, they decided they ought to take matters to the league officials. They phoned the league president. The man admited that they had received other complaints about this particular coach. However, he said that he also had parents request this coach for their children because this coach gets results. Furthermore, he stated that his own son was on the coach's select team and he would not offer any type of reprimand. He also refused to transfer the player to another team.

There ya go. There's a perfect example of what has gone wrong with sports. We have adopted the attitude that in the sports world, even the sports world of nine year olds, that the ends justifies the means. The coach, by virtue of the good ol' boy club (which is also prevalent in Texas), gets to use unethical methods because he wins. The boys learn that its okay to break the rules as long as your team wins.

Think this is an isolated incident? Think about the NCAA basketball tournament that we watched all during March. What happens at the end of a game when one team has a slight lead and the other team needs the ball back? The losing team fouls.

"So what?" you say. "That's just strategy."

Ya, the strategy is that you break the rules if it gives your team a shot at winning. That's what we're teaching our children. Then we are surprised when we hear about individuals at all levels of the private and public sectors who willingly engage in unethical or illegal behavior if it helps them "win" at making money or getting elected or getting a job or whatever.

I'm sleepy. More on this subject soon.

What's happening here

The last three weeks of June and the first couple weeks of July were incredibly hot and dry even for Central Texas. Then almost two weeks ago we had a couple of nice little showers and since then we have been below 100 degrees. In fact we have even had a couple of cloudy days that were almost comfortable. I've been really thankful for the little weather break. It is supposed to be 100 again today but then we get a little front tomorrow that cools things back to the mid 90s.

So its really becoming the dog days of summer as we brace ourselves for six or so more weeks of extreme heat. There is hope, though, that provides a little psychological boost to get through. NFL training camps start soon which is a promise of things to come (the promise of fall and all the good things that go with that). Meanwhile we make the most of summer.

I must be grumpy lately because the other day Kris told me it has been too long since I killed something. So last night when I went out to move the sprinklers and found a snake under the live oak in the front yard I figured I better kill it. Of course, that upset Jeremiah who thought it was way too cute to kill. He's a twisted little kid.

Last night Nana and the boys and I watched a good old John Wayne movie, The Cowboys. The boys had never seen it before and they loved it. I view that as comforting proof that kids are capable of enjoying something besides high tech entertainment. Now I may have to convince them that they don't need a horse, they can just use their bikes and pretend.

This morning I put on my Daffy Duck short which Jonathan laughed at. At first, Jeremiah agreed with me that they're okay because we like Daffy Duck. But a few minutes later he said, "Seriously, you're going to go out in public wearing that? Kind of tacky." I told you he's a twisted little kid.

Such is life, mid summer 2009.

Book recommendation for parents

You know that I don't read many books. However, here is one that I have read and which I recommend to any of you who are rearing children or preparing to do so.

Kid CEO is not the premier book on parenting but I think it is an important one to read because the author says a couple of things that a lot of the other Christian parenting books don't.

Ed Young writes in a very conversational style and he avoids a lot of Christian-ese. I assume his intention is to make the book attractive and applicable to non Christians. At any rate it results in a book that is very straight forward and easy to read. He also tries to be very homey and down to earth. Towards that end some of his illustrations are too sappy and some are really too much of a stretch to go with the point they are supposed to illustrate. But the content that he is teaching is good enough to make wading through some of the negatives worthwhile.

Pastor Young very clearly lays out the biblical model for how a home should operate. Then he proceeds to address very practical ways to make that happen. He deals with the pace of modern life, the importance of the marital relationship, discipline, and other issues universal to families in our culture.

Based on my observations it seems that parents today need a lot of help and I feel that this book is certainly a great place to start. Happy reading.

Updates

The mission trip went well. The teenagers did a great job and I think all the campers enjoyed the recreation. Thursday we had a 3% chance of rain, but we beat the odds. I believe that thanks to many prayers we had rain on Thursday. The area is still in a serious drought though, so please keep praying.

It is soooo nice to be back home. I was greeted by squeals of delight from the boys. Of course, five minutes later they were fighting like cats and dogs. But, hey, like the song says, it IS good to be back home again.

A major event happened while I was gone. I am sad that I was not here, but still excited. On Wednesday night at First Baptist, Jonathan made a public profession of faith in Jesus. Many people have prayed for this, even before he was born. So, thank you Jesus. Thanks to all who prayed.

I'm a skeptic by nature, so I am tempted to bug him a lot to find out if he really knows what he is doing. But ya know, Jesus said not to hinder little kids from coming to him. And like I said, many have prayed for this. Therefore, I am trusting that this is real.

He is such a sweet kid. He told our pastor, "Hey, you were there when I was born, and you were there when I was reborn. And maybe you'll be there when I get my new body!" So cute.

So, I've seen a lot of prayers answered this week. Thank you Jesus.