Last week I touched on the idea of what you want for your kids; what goals do you have for them? Today's post will delve a little more deeply into that. When your children were born, did you give any thought to the kind of adults they would grow to be? When you picture your kids at different stages in life, are there certain qualities or traits you hope they will possess? What is it that you are seeking when you discipline your children or when you endeavor to instruct them in some realm? In your mind, what will your child be like at the age of 24 in order for you to consider him/her a success? In your mind, what will your child be like at the age of 24 in order for you to consider yourself a success as a parent?
Why am I asking you so many questions about how you want your progeny to turn out? Well, there is an old saying, "if you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time." In other words, if you do not have an objective, or target, which you are working to achieve, you cannot possibly end up with a specific result. For example, suppose you want to make a pecan pie, you cannot simply go into the kitchen and start randomly doing tasks. You must first obtain a pecan pie recipe and then enact the steps listed in it.
Clearly, having no target to aim at is a bad way to go about life. Another bad way to go about life is to aim at the wrong target. Suppose your goal in life is to make a fortune. You spend your time and energy doing what it takes to amass wealth and suppose you succeed. Now suppose you come to the end of your life and Jesus says to you, "what does it profit a man to gain the whole world but lose his soul?" You had a target, you hit your target, but in the light of eternity it was the wrong target. When it comes to bringing up our children, it is vital that we are not laboring without an end in mind and equally vital that we are laboring with the correct end in mind.
Perspectives on Family Ministry: Three Views (edited by Timothy Paul Jones) includes a story of a church staff that wanted to do a better job of discipling teenagers. The youth ministry surveyed the parents to find out what they wanted for their kids. The idea was that such information would help them know how to come alongside the parents and work towards the same spiritual goals. However, very few parents had any spiritual goals for their kids. The basic desires parents had was for their teens to make good grades so they could get into a good college so they could get a good job so they could be happy. Of course, these are worthwhile things to wish for your offspring. However, the Bible calls us to much higher purposes.
The first three posts in this series aimed to cheer-lead for you. The idea was to convince you that you can lead your family spiritually. This post is meant to challenge you. Do the goals you have for your child line up with what God wants for him/her? Is it your desire to see your child know Christ and have His character formed in his/her life? If not, why not?
Let's close with a suggestion. Read Matthew 6:33. Then, spend some time praying about what it would look like for your family to make that verse a priority. Next, talk that idea over with your spouse. Finally, discuss it as a family.
Questions:
1. What goals have you had for your children?
2. Do you need to re-evaluate any of those goals or make any new ones?
3. Does your family need to make any adjustments in order to make your (new) goals come about?
4. What do you do in your life that would qualify as seeking first God's kingdom? How can you build on that foundation?
