Last week I committed to begin posting ideas for Christian parents. My hope is to help you be the primary spiritual trainers of your family. I do not presume to teach you. Rather, I hope to encourage you, assist you, point you towards helpful resources, and provide a place where others in the same boat can ask questions of one another. Today I want to be an encouragement by trying to help you see past some obstacles.
Perhaps the three biggest things that people see as barriers to leading their families spiritually are lack of knowledge, lack of skill, and lack of time. In other words, parents feel that they do not know enough about the Bible or basic Christian doctrine to teach their children about theological matters, they do not believe they know how to lead their kids spiritually, and they do not believe they have the time in their busy schedules to make this happen in the home. I do not discount these beliefs and feelings. However, I believe you can overcome them, so let me give you a few practical counterpoints.
First, let's talk about the notion that you, as a parent, do not know enough about Scripture, theology, or God to train your children. For the sake of argument, let us assume a worst-case scenario in which the parents are brand-new Christians and truly know almost nothing about God or the Bible. To those parents, and all others, I would say, "start where you are." Nobody knows everything but everybody knows something. Even if you are a brand-new Christian, you know at least what it takes to share the gospel because someone shared it with you. You know what sin is because you recognized it in your own life. You know that Jesus is Savior and Son of God because you trusted him for salvation. If that is all you know, then that is where you start with your kids.
Teachers have an old saying, "give me a book and a week's head start and I can teach anyone anything." Parents, start where you are, grab The Book, and learn something from it. Next week, you will be able to teach your children what you learned.
Second, let's talk about the skill factor. You may have trepidation because you do not think you know how to impart spiritual truth to your family. Pause and think just a minute. How much did you know about how to be a parent when your first child was born? Probably not much. Yet, how much have you taught your children since then. Did you teach your kids to bathe themselves, get dressed, bush their teeth, tie their shoes, use proper manners, ride a bike, get along with their siblings, ask for help, throw a ball, bake cookies, or anything else? You may have failed on your first attempts at these things, but you eventually succeeded (or you are still trying). Consider it on the job training. Well, on the job training is perfectly acceptable when figuring out the practical ways to pass faith on to your kids.
You can begin to learn how to lead your family spiritually by actually doing it. Further, you can get help in this department through a multitude of resources. You can find many of these types of resources online. To get you started, may I suggest checking out Visionary Family Ministries, Faith At Home, and D6. Obviously, these are not the only ministries that can help you in this arena. If you do not like these, simply search the web or talk to your pastor and I'm sure you can find one you like.
Third and finally, let's talk about the matter of time. The first counterpoint to the lack of available time is to use what I will call multi-purpose time. Multi-purpose time is time that is already blocked off in your schedule during which you could do more than one thing. For example, do you have a bedtime routine with your kids? If so, talk to them about God while you are getting them ready for bed. Do you eat at least one meal each week together as a family? Use this mealtime to discuss a Bible verse. Do you wake your kids up in the morning? Sit on the bed and pray with them while you are trying to get them up. Do you drive your kids to school? Instead of listening to the radio or talking on the phone, talk about Sunday's sermon on the way to school on Monday. See what I mean? Use time that is already blocked off to kill two birds with one stone.
Now I have another counterpoint to the time objection, but you may not like it. At the risk of sounding trite, let me suggest to you that we make time for what is important to us. Do you have time to play games on social media? Do you have time to work? Do you have time to see friends? Do you have time to exercise? Do you have time for little league? Do you have time for date night? Do you have time for the evening news? Do you have time to read the paper? Do you have time for PTA meetings, cub scouts, and dance classes? If you have time for things like that, but you do not have time for family discipleship, then you probably need to rethink your priorities.
That last sentence may have sounded harsh. The truth is, I want you to learn from my mistakes. When my kids came along, I had many ideas for teaching them to love Jesus, but life got busy, and I did not manage to practice everything I thought I would. Now, frankly, I regret it. Put boundaries in your life and make family discipleship a priority. I firmly believe that when your kids head off to college you will be very glad you made the time for spiritual things.
In summary, if you think you do not know enough to lead your family spiritually, then start where you are (but keep learning.) If you think you do not know how to lead your family spiritually, then simply start trying and learn as you go. If you think you do not have time for family discipleship, then use the time you do have and consider reprioritizing other times. Leading your family in spiritual matters may seem daunting. However, you can do it; just get started, and you and your kids will grow together.
Thanks for reading this, I hope you found it challenging but encouraging.
