A while back I posted about some ideas relating to sports, and especially youth sports. My basic premise was that we have created a subculture where many of the norms of a civilized society no longer apply. You can see that post here. I've wanted to return to that concept for a while and finally have a chance to do so.
First, I have an update to that initial post. I challenged the idea that it is okay for coaches to scream at our kids. We wouldn't let anyone else do it. Why is it okay for coaches? Here's a real life example of how absurd this issue has become. A few weeks ago I was in a parent meeting at my son's middle school. This was for parents of 12 and 13 year old football players. At one point in the meeting the head coach was explaining some of the values he and his staff hoped to instill in our children. One that he mentioned specifically was respect. He stated that it is very important for people to be respectful. Sounds good to me.
About five minutes later in the same address, the same coach tells us that it will be okay if he or his staff shouts at our children. I don't remember the exact phrase he used. But I am sure he was referring to shouting, yelling, screaming, fussing at young players. His reasoning was that this behavior would make the kids mentally tough. Apparently, he was completely oblivious to the absurdity of this. On one hand he wants people to be respectful. On the other hand he wants the right to treat my child, and any other child on his team, in a degrading, disrespectful, and immature way. Why are we okay with this as parents? Why are we okay with this as a society?
Now for more current thoughts. This weekend I saw a commercial for a gangster movie. The scene involved a gangster telling a six year old child that no matter what he did or who he did it to, if nobody saw him do it then it never happened. How do you feel about that logic?
{Disclaimer: I'm clearly not a professional ethicist. So if I have faulty reasoning here, I'd appreciate some help from those of you who are trained in such matters.}
A few weeks ago I heard someone say a phrase that really disturbs me. I'll come back to that in a bit. Let's talk about rules for a minute. Rules are important in a society. They are important in sports, supposedly. In my mind they are so important that breaking the rules constitutes cheating. Now, I realize that people break the rules accidentally. It happens all the time. And as long as the player is trying to the best of his/her ability to abide by the rules then I'm okay with mistakes, especially if they are discovered and penalties assessed. But when players (or coaches) break the rules on purpose that is cheating. And even if you score more points than the opponent, in my opinion you didn't really win if you cheated to do it.
Now, back to the phrase the bugs me so much. I've heard fans say this, pee wee coaches say this, national broadcasters say this, parents say this, players say this, and even coaches at advanced levels. Here it is, "It's only holding if they throw the flag." In other words, "You did not really break the rule if the referee didn't see it." Or, "You didn't cheat if you didn't get caught." I've found this attitude to be really prevalent in the sports world even among children.
There is another similar situation that comes up. It's the idea of a "good" foul. We've taught the people involved in this subculture known as sports, that if you get an advantage out of it, then breaking the rules is okay. Think about the defensive back who grabs the jersey of a receiver because he knew he was beat. "Well he got a penalty but he prevented the receiver from scoring so that was a good foul." No, that was cheating. Think about the basketball team that fouls to get the ball back late in the game. "Well that's just good strategy." No, that's cheating.
You can think I am being over the top. You can think I am being a sissy. You can think I am making a mountain out of a mole hill. But, we have developed a culture where following the rules is only important until you need some advantage. Then, the rules are ignored or just blatantly broken. This is not good.
If you are on the side of, "Well, its not that big of a deal to break a rule here and there if it gives you an advantage." Or, "Some rules are just silly." Or, "Rules are situational." Or, "You just don't have to follow the rules if it is not convenient." Really? How did you feel about it last spring when the supreme court basically threw the rule of law out the window?
Maybe even worse, if you are on the side of, "It's only holding if the referee throws the flag." how is that different from the gangster who says, "If nobody sees it, it never happened."?
Did the subculture of sports influence the larger culture or did the larger culture infiltrate sports? I have no idea. But it chills me to the core that we now have a society that teaches children "Rules don't matter." If they learn that in the sports they are playing from the time they are five or six years old, we can only expect the long term result to be a society that cheats to get rich, gets angry when police try to enforce laws, stuffs the ballot boxes, etc. O, wait...
