My plan for this post was to begin discussing the idea of laying a theological foundation for family and for church. That foundation then guides your behavior. That was my plan, but something triggered me last week and I’ve decided to get on my soap box for a minute. Next week’s post will (probably) start examining the basics of a theology of family. Until then, here’s my rant. . .
If you read job descriptions for children’s ministers and youth ministers, as well as the children’s and youth ministry sections of church websites, you will frequently see some version of this phrase, “our kids have fun and still learn about Jesus.” The verbiage is not always identical, but the sentiment almost always conveys the idea that the children (I’m using “children” to refer to school age kids, K-12) in their programs will have fun and simultaneously learn the Bible, learn about God, grow spiritually, and so forth. Now, I’m not anti-fun. I do not think it is wrong to have fun while doing some spiritual things. However, let me translate “our kids have fun and still learn about Jesus” for you.
The leaders of these programs are essentially saying that they realize young people are inundated with entertainment options. Young people have electronic devices, toys, games, bicycles, movies, skate parks, trampoline parks, amusement parks, swimming pools, concerts, bowling alleys, rage rooms, comedy clubs, party barges, sports cars, sporting events, etcetera ad nauseum, and those churches are scared to death that their programs will not be enticing to young people who have so many options at their disposal. Based on that fear, they include a host of gimmicks in their meetings including games, skits, competitions, prizes, free food, and so forth. The thinking is that they can compete with secular entertainment for the attention of young people. Then, when the students are hooked by how fun things at the church are, they can hit them with the truth of Scripture.
That methodology sounds logical and churches in the US have been practicing it, and perfecting it in many ways, for the past few decades. However, in my opinion, this method has several flaws. Flaw number one, it bows down to consumerism in the church. In this paradigm, children’s and youth ministries constantly have to reinvent themselves in an effort to “one up” the church down the street, or the kids will simply move along to wherever the most fun is. Therefore, young people learn that church is about going where they are most entertained which is light years from how we ought to view church.
Flaw number two, this model presents a false idea about what it means to follow Jesus. When children spend year after year in programs that are all about how fun and non-boring their classes and services are, they eventually receive the message that being a disciple of Christ is a self-serving endeavor. Eventually, individuals mature enough to realize that life is not all about having fun. In fact, they realize life is full of very real challenges which they have not been equipped to handle by the church, so they look for solutions elsewhere.
Flaw number three is that it is virtually impossible for 95% of churches to provide the kind of entertainment young people can find elsewhere. Sooner or later, the “fun” aspect of church wears off or gives way to institutions that are actually more fun, and as with flaw two, the person then leaves the church in search of something better.
Flaw number four, in a sense, this method of spiritual training is dishonest; it is a bait and switch. The leaders attempt to lure children to church with the promise of fun, food, free stuff, or other rewards, then eventually get around to the real reason they want kids there which is to expose them to Christianity. We are so accustomed to doing church this way, we don’t even realize the duplicity. I suggest you would not settle for this methodology in any of the other activities you put your kids in. Why should it be okay in the church?
Flaw number five, this is the paradigm that has brought us to where we are as the western evangelical church. We do not do a very good job of making disciples, but those statistics are for another post.
Flaw number six (there are probably other flaws here, but I’ll make this the bottom of my list), it is built upon the notion of an anemic god rather than the almighty God of Scripture. Think about what people adhering to this form of discipleship are really saying. They’re saying, “we know our god cannot compete with all the entertaining things you have access to, so we are going to put some spice in our services to make following him more palatable.” They are saying, “we know you’re not really mature enough to handle big spiritual truths, so we are going to simply entertain you for thirty minutes and then give you a few minutes of Jesus stories.” They are saying, “we know our god cannot really make a difference in what you’re facing in everyday life, so we are going to plan some things that will give you an endorphin rush. Then, we’ll throw in a little Bible study to spiritualize it all.” Is this really a healthy way to present the King of Kings and Lord of Lords? Is Jesus, in and of Himself, not enough? Can we not offer young people a relationship with their Creator and expect Him to be sufficient to capture their attention as He captures their hearts?
Please pay attention friends. I am NOT saying that there is no place for games, skits, object lessons, food, and fun in ministry. These things can be used to build fellowship, to teach lessons, and to meet legitimate physical needs. HOWEVER, when fun becomes a primary objective, consumerism is always the end result, and the ministry will likely fall into one or more of the flaws I’ve outlined. Fun and games do a good job of filling up classrooms, youth rooms, and even entire buildings, but they do a very poor job of making disciples.
What does this have to do with family discipleship? One, if your kids are only getting spiritual milk at church, they better be getting some meat at home. Two, you are responsible for protecting your kids spiritually. If they are growing up in a ministry that puts entertainment ahead of discipleship, you can get involved and help the ministry grow into what it ought to be.
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