Family Discipleship Minute 3: What's All This Then?

The last couple of posts aimed to convince you that you really can take responsibility for your children's spiritual development. Hopefully, you have at least become motivated to take a closer look at family discipleship. With that hope in mind, it is time to share some foundational thoughts on this topic.

If you live your life like most folks in middle America these days, you send your kids to school for professional educators to teach them reading, writing, and 'rithmetic, along with physical education, art, music, science, and history. You probably also send them to someone else to teach them to play sports, dance, play the piano, etc. Further, you probably take them to church and expect Sunday school teachers, AWANA leaders, children's ministers, youth ministers, pastors, and so forth to teach your kids about God, impart biblical knowledge to them, and instill biblical values within them. We have really become a culture where parents, in a variety of ways, "farm out" the training of their children to other people.

Families today hand over the education of their children to others for a variety of reasons. Possible explanations for this may include time constraints, a feeling that others can do a better job of teaching a specific subject than we can, a mindset that we are not successful as parents unless our children turn out a certain way, and no telling how many others. However, even if there are good reasons to allow others to educate our children, is that always the best idea? More importantly, is it the biblical idea?

 

As Christians, our desires should not be what is best from a societal perspective, but what is right from a spiritual perspective. For example, society says a person is successful if he makes a lot of money; whereas God says someone is successful if she loves Him and loves her neighbor. Further, just because someone is better at something than we are does not automatically mean we should allow them to do it for us. How can a person ever grow at something if he continuously turns that task over to another? When it comes to children, the Bible puts the responsibility (and privilege) for their spiritual development squarely on the shoulders of parents. This does not mean that parents should not seek and utilize the help of others. However, it does mean that parents must always take the lead role in discipling their children, regardless of whether or not they feel equipped to do so.

This principle, that parents should lead their children spiritually, shows up in direct and indirect ways in the Bible. The story of Adam and Eve serves as an indirect example. Genesis 4:3-4 relate that Cain and Able both brought offerings to the Lord. Why did they do that? The only plausible explanation is that Adam and Eve taught them to worship God.

Direct teaching of this principle shows up in Deuteronomy 6 and Ephesians 6, among other places. Deuteronomy 6 is a chapter of great importance to Jews and should be to Christians as well. The chapter records Moses’s instruction to the Israelites regarding how to dwell in the promised land as God’s covenant people. They needed to love God, to internalize His commands, and to “impress them on your children.” The idea that parents should nurture their children’s relationships with God is a crucial theme in this chapter. Further, the use of masculine pronouns in the Hebrew text indicates that this responsibility falls directly to the fathers. This does not mean that mothers do not do this too or that it is wrong for mothers to shoulder this job when the father neglects it.

This principle is not one simply for the Old Testament. It is for all of God’s covenant people as Ephesians 6 demonstrates. Verse 4 of this chapter is a direct command exhorting fathers to “bring [your children] up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” This does not exclude allowing your children to sit under the authority of biblically qualified elders and teachers. However, it certainly indicates that the parent must do more than merely expose kids to other’s leadership. 

Give Deuteronomy 6 a careful reading. In my opinion, it is really difficult to walk away from this text without realizing how seriously God expects His people to take their relationship with Him and how throroughly devoted parents should be to the spiritual coaching of their offspring. I hope that after reading the chapter you will be excited to begin the process of serving God as a family. But, even if you are not, make it a matter of prayer and remember last week's admonition that you will not be doing this alone.

Some questions to ponder or comment on:

What do you feel comfortable teaching your children rather than sending them to someone else to learn?
What are your immediate goals for your child?
What kind of adult do you want him/her to be?
Are you feeling excitement or fear about family discipleship? 

Family Discipleship Minute (2)

 The theme of this series is that you, Christian parent, are responsible to be the primary spiritual trainer of your children, and you should not relinquish this responsibility to anyone else. The purpose of this specific post is to continue last week's encouragement; you CAN do this. Last week's ideas were very logistical and practical. Today, the focus is more on spiritual reality that will, hopefully, inspire you to embrace this role and begin your family discipleship journey.

Last week's article proposed that lack of time, lack of knowledge, and lack of skill are three common obstacles causing parents to shy away from bringing spiritual formation into the home. The post argued that these obstacles can be overcome with some practical ideas, and today will expand on that to say that you can count on God to empower you to accomplish this.

You may have heard people say that God will not put anything on you that you cannot handle. I think that notion stems from a bad understanding of 1 Corinthians 10:13 which says, "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." Clearly, this verse says that God will not allow you to face a temptation that you are not capable of resisting. Somehow, people have jumped from that truth to the idea that God will not give you assignments you cannot handle. The Christian life simply does not work that way. God gives us assignments we cannot handle to force us to rely on Him, and so that His power will be on display for us, and others, to see.

Think about the Israelites and their assignment to conquer the promised land. In Numbers 13 and 14 the people had to decide whether to obey God and enter the land or disobey. They chose to disobey because they did not believe they could handle the assignment. Forty years later, the next generation of Israelites faced the same decision. They entered the land and engaged the seemingly impenetrable city of Jericho. Joshua 6 describes the victory which was obviously accomplished through God's power and not that of the Israelites. This illustrates the principle above, God gives you assignments you cannot do so that He can accomplish it through you.

So it is, Mom and Dad. God is asking you to do a job that is daunting and harder than you can do by yourself. The beauty of it is that you do not have to do it by yourself. He, by the power of His Spirit, will equip you to train your children the way He wants you to. What you have to do, like the Israelites, is take that first step of obedience. Get started training your children and count on God to empower you to do what you think you cannot.

Some questions to think about. Feel free to discuss in the comments:

What obstacles do you face to discipling your kids?
What goals do you have for your children?
What accomplishments have you had in your life that were clearly due to the power of God?

View the Future Wisely

 This morning I went over to Pecan Grove to pick up some more pecans. I've been twice this fall with great results both times. Today, however, was different. The nuts have already begun to go bad. For every good one I found, there were probably four or five that were already split open or mildewed. Realizing that I had waited too long to go back started a stream of thoughts.

The end of this year's pecan crop is a signal that fall is winding down and winter is only a couple of weeks away. Of course, here in central Texas winter doesn't change things too much. It does not get extremely cold and things are not covered in a blanket of snow and ice (at least not very often.) However, winter is a reminder that everything is constantly changing and there is nothing any of us can do to slow or stop the march of time.

Thinking about the changing seasons and the march of time, I  began to ponder the future in two ways. First, I wondered what changes the coming year would bring. In my family right now, there are multiple health concerns as well as financial concerns. Further, the larger socio-political issues of our day weigh heavily on my psyche. Basically, I was falling to the temptation of anticipating the future with worry.

On the other hand, I was excited about next year's pecan crop. I realized that had I invested a little more time and not procrastinated I could have harvested a bumper stash of the little treasures, and I was gleeful about the thought of picking up pounds and pounds of pecans next fall. This reveals another danger in a hyper-focus on the future. Namely, we can be so mindful of something yet to come that we fail to experience and enjoy the present. My parents used to tell me, "don't wish your life away." We can be so intent on wishing for the next thing which excites us that we overlook the present joys.

In a few minutes of time, I was guilty of two flawed ways of facing the future. The Bible offers us a more balanced approach to dealing with things to come. First, we should not worry about the future because God is in control. Jesus teaches about this in Matthew 6. Verses 25-26 say, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" He continues the discussion for several verses, but the idea is apparent. Worrying about things does not help anything. Better to trust God, seek Him, and live life one day at a time.

Second, while we should not worry about the future, we also should not ignore it. We need to anticipate the future enough to make reasonable plans. Further, the plans we make should be guided by our best understanding of God's leadership in our lives. James 4:13-15 says, "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.'"

Time marches on indeed. As Christians we should plan reasonably for the future, but we should not worry about it or focus so intently on it that we miss the good things God has for us today. We should use our time wisely to build His kingdom, finding the joy He offers in each moment.