More thoughts on our sports subculture

A while back I posted about some ideas relating to sports, and especially youth sports. My basic premise was that we have created a subculture where many of the norms of a civilized society no longer apply. You can see that post here.  I've wanted to return to that concept for a while and finally have a chance to do so.

First, I have an update to that initial post. I challenged the idea that it is okay for coaches to scream  at our kids. We wouldn't let anyone else do it. Why is it okay for coaches? Here's a real life example of how  absurd this issue has become. A few weeks ago I was in a parent meeting at my son's middle school. This was for parents of 12 and 13 year old football players. At one point in the meeting the head coach was explaining some of the values he and his staff hoped to instill in our children. One that he mentioned specifically was respect. He stated that it is very important for people to be respectful. Sounds good to me.

About five minutes later in the same address, the same coach tells us that it will be okay if he or his staff shouts at our children. I don't remember the exact phrase he used. But I am sure he was referring to shouting, yelling, screaming, fussing at young players. His reasoning was that this behavior would make the kids mentally tough. Apparently, he was completely oblivious to the absurdity of this. On one hand he wants people to be respectful. On the other hand he wants the right to treat my child, and any other child on his team, in a degrading, disrespectful, and immature way. Why are we okay with this as parents? Why are we okay with this as a society?

Now for more current thoughts. This weekend I saw a commercial for a gangster movie. The scene involved a gangster telling a six year old child that no matter what he did or who he did it to, if nobody saw him do it then it never happened. How do you feel about that logic?

{Disclaimer:  I'm clearly not a professional ethicist. So if I have faulty reasoning here, I'd appreciate some help from those of you who are trained in such matters.}

A few weeks ago I heard someone say a phrase that really disturbs me. I'll come back to that in a bit. Let's talk about rules for a minute. Rules are important in a society. They are important in sports, supposedly. In my mind they are so important that breaking the rules constitutes cheating. Now, I realize that people break the rules accidentally. It happens all the time. And as long as the player is trying to the best of his/her ability to abide by the rules then I'm okay with mistakes, especially if they are discovered and penalties assessed. But when players (or coaches) break the rules on purpose that is cheating. And even if you score more points than the opponent, in my opinion you didn't really win if you cheated to do it.

Now, back to the phrase the bugs me so much. I've heard fans say this, pee wee coaches say this, national broadcasters say this, parents say this, players say this, and even coaches at advanced levels. Here it is, "It's only holding if they throw the flag." In other words, "You did not really break the rule if the referee didn't see it." Or, "You didn't cheat if you didn't get caught." I've found this attitude to be really prevalent in the sports world even among children.

There is another similar situation that comes up. It's the idea of a "good" foul. We've taught the people involved in this subculture known as sports, that if you get an advantage out of it, then breaking the rules is okay. Think about the defensive back who grabs the jersey of a receiver because he knew he was beat. "Well he got a penalty but he prevented the receiver from scoring so that was a good foul."  No, that was cheating. Think about the basketball team that fouls to get the ball back late in the game. "Well that's just good strategy." No, that's cheating.

You can think I am being over the top. You can think I am being a sissy. You can think I am making a mountain out of a mole hill. But, we have developed a culture where following the rules is only important until you need some advantage. Then, the rules are ignored or just blatantly broken. This is not good.

If you are on the side of, "Well, its not that big of a deal to break a rule here and there if it gives you an advantage." Or, "Some rules are just silly." Or, "Rules are situational." Or, "You just don't have to follow the rules if it is not convenient."  Really? How did you feel about it last spring when the supreme court basically threw the rule of law out the window?

Maybe even worse, if you are on the side of, "It's only holding if the referee throws the flag." how is that different from the gangster who says, "If nobody sees it, it never happened."?

Did the subculture of sports influence the larger culture or did the larger culture infiltrate sports? I have no idea. But it chills me to the core that we now have a society that teaches children "Rules don't matter." If they learn that in the sports they are playing from the time they are five or six years old, we can only expect the long term result to be a society that cheats to get rich, gets angry when police try to enforce laws, stuffs the ballot boxes, etc.   O, wait...

Memories

My PFSAD is going to be a lot tougher this year than most years. My dad died November 29th, 2014. I'm still getting used to missing him. He was a good man. One of the things we had in common was enjoying football, especially college football. We got through about two thirds of this season together but the cancer got him before it was over with.

When I was four years old we moved to Bartlesville, Oklahoma. This was back before cable TV and ABC was pretty much the only station that carried college football. We might get to watch one of our teams play on Saturday afternoon. But one of my fondest memories of my early childhood is lying in the living room floor on Saturday nights with the lights down. Dad would have a transistor radio in his hand and he would be tuning in as many Southwest Conference football games as he could. Of course, our keenest interest was in UT and Baylor, but we would listen to whatever we could pick up.

I guess it doesn't sound like much. But it sure was fun. Even remembering it is somehow fun, even though the tears sting my eyes.

I have many other memories that involve Dad and football. They help. But this is still going to be a strange and difficult off season.

Hey, if you are a dad, find something your kid likes to do and go make some memories with him/her. You'll be glad you did and so will your child.

Summer time

We had a good trip to Houston last weekend. We visited my folks and sister to celebrate Independence Day and Jonathan's birthday. It was a good time. Thankfully, for a change, everyone stayed healthy.

On the drive back, I had one of those strange, sudden revelations. I realized that the older I get the less I need mountain fixes. Really not sure why that is. I suppose it has something to do with my decreased cold tolerance and increasing laziness. Still, I never dreamed my affection for mountains would diminish. Maybe if I just spent a week in NM or CO it would come back?

The week before the holiday weekend was our Vacation Bible School and it too was a lot of fun. One night we studied Titus 2:11-14. It reads, "11For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good."

Wow, what a great passage! I'm not sure why I never really noticed it before, but I sure like it. Don't you? What do you suppose Paul is talking about when he speaks of saying "No" to ungodliness? I'd be curious how many different ideas are out there.

Speaking of ungodliness... Here's is a very timely and important article from Sue Bohlin at Probe Ministries. I highly recommend it. Read the whole thing because she makes a plethora of points.

I'll try to get back to some thoughts about kid's sports soon.

Kids

Question: What do a tattoo pen, a harmonica, a tube of chap stick, and a pair of binoculars have in common?

Answer: These are what Jeremiah takes in his pockets and around his neck to a major college football game. Of course he never even looks towards the field. He writes on himself, writes on the harmonica, smears chap stick on everything, dances, sings, looks through the binoculars, "plays" the harmonica, etc. But he never, never looks at the field or the players, except when he wants to say that he hopes they both lose because he doesn't like either team.

So I ask him, Jeremiah, why do you come to football games if you don't want to watch the game? And of course his answer is that "feetball is my favorite sport." One would never know it.

Baylor football is always frustrating, but Saturday's game was very much so. We had a chance to watch the #1 team in the nation play. I was not even hoping for a Baylor upset; I just wanted them to do well. I was looking forward to a relaxing couple hours and seeing OU play in person. Didn't happen that way at all.

It was already the second quarter when we got to the game and OU was already up 28-0. I tried to watch the game but it was really hot, Jeremiah was hot, he wouldn't sit still, he wouldn't watch the game. Baylor was terrible. Then, with about four minutes left in the half, JT's nose started bleeding.

So, we got it stopped, went down the restroom and cleaned up, and made the long trek back to the truck. We salvaged the day by getting donuts at Wal*mart on the way home. It was a frustrating outing. But it was fun too. I mean you gotta love a kid who gets a major kick out of being able to stop and use the port-a-potty and who can have a great time playing with his little toys and dancing around in the middle of 30 thousand people with absolutely no worry what anyone else is doing or thinking.

Another bright side was that when the nosebleed started some very polite teenagers who were sitting behind us handed me a wad of kleenex to do first aid with. One of them even brought me some extra napkins when he went down to get some half time refreshments. Nice kids. Teenagers really can be good people.

Good stuff

A little while ago the sun came up and the 2008 archery deer season began in most Texas counties. This begins year number three sans hunting in my world. I miss it, but I'm not unhappy. I have plenty to do without it. Besides, its too hot to be out there right now.

Actually life is really good. I turned 45 last week and got to see all my family. I also got a new watch, a new shirt, gift cards for new shoes, a ton of chocolate, two new tires, a new rake, and a repair job for the TV in the living room. Lots of good stuff which we are really enjoying.

The best thing of late though, happened last Sunday. I got to baptize Jonathan. I just can't explain how cool that was.

Thank you Jesus.

Standard of living?

Once again, time has flown. Here's a little summary of what has been going on around here. Three weekends ago we celebrated Granny's 93rd birthday. Its always fun to be with everyone.

I watched as much of the Olympics as I could. Extremely entertaining! I really enjoyed them.

Kris has had three weeks of the medicine I mentioned in my last post and she has tolerated it fairly well. It caused some tough days but she has handled it like a trooper. Hopefully it will start making her feel better soon.

My parents celebrated their 46th anniversary last week.

The boys started back to school today. I don't know if Jeremiah is ready for Kindergarten, but I'm pretty sure that Kindergarten is not ready for him. Although, we are very pleased that he is going to be in Mrs. H's class. Both boys reported having a good day.

Now for my latest random thoughts. As everyone knows our economy is really struggling now. The causes are more complex than I can grasp, but I suppose it was inevitable that the developing world would start catching up to us and compete with us for resources. That surely has a lot to do with some of our current troubles. One thing I have heard people, including Christian leaders, say is that we need the government to do things that will allow us to maintain our American standard of living. And that individuals and business should work to maintain the American standard of living.

Really? Standard of living? I surely do enjoy our standard of living. But, what makes us think that it is a right instead of a privilege? And what makes us think we are more derserving of being well off than any other nation. God certainly never promised that we should be wealthy. And Americans are wealthy. Even many Americans who live below our official poverty level have a lot compared to many people in developing nations. He only promised to meet our daily
needs (Matthew 6:25-34). Plus, I believe He expects his people with means to share with people who have needs (see Luke 3:10-11for example).

Maybe we Chistians should spend less time and energy trying to sustain our standard of living (possessions, diet, recreational indulgences, etc.) and more time and energy and resources trying to raise the standard of living of others?

"He who is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward him for what he has done." Proverbs 19:17

Medicine and Machine Guns

Its been an interesting few days for us. Kris went to the doctor Friday and finally fessed up as to how serious her health problems are. The doctor prescribed a very powerful drug for her arthritis. The good news is that if it doesn't kill her it should make her feel a lot better. We are looking forward to that. And we are sooo thankful to God that this is not an expensive medicine. The bad news is that it will (and is) make her feel worse before it makes her feel better. So she is having a rough few days physically.

Last April I told you about a visit from an old friend. Well Charles stopped by again this weekend. It was great to see him. I know he is a busy man with a very important job, but he took the time to hang out with us and he even arranged for the boys to get to see some way cool stuff at the Marine facility here in town.

I must say that all the marines there were very friendly and went out of their way to make a couple of little boys day something they will never forget. I mean, what little boy would not like to play with a machine gun?

Seriously, if Lt. Col. Sides and his marines typify the folks protecting our nation then we are in fantastic hands. Thanks to all you who are serving. And thanks to the marines here in Waco who made two little blond boys way happy. And to be honest, their dad got a big kick out of it too, especially the night vision goggles. Thanks!

There are more pictures on Kris's blog.

What do you think?

This weekend Kris had to go to a PTA leadership training conference. So I took the boys to Houston to see Gran'mom and Gran'dad and Aunt Kerry all three of whom have had a lot of health problems over the past few months. Thankfully, grandchildren seem to be good medicine. I think we all had a really good time. We laughed a lot. I hope the aftershocks of having two busy little boys in the house were worth the fun for Mom, Dad, and Little Sister.

Now for the what do you think question. Consider Genesis 1:28, "God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." I remember hearing a radio show several years ago on which the guests shared his opinion that we have pretty much completed the command to "fill the earth". He was advocating for zero population growth.

Considering the billion people with no access to sanitary water, and the millions of children who die every year from causes related to poor nutrition, and the vastness of our waste stream, and the tons of carbon dioxide we're pumping into the atmosphere, and the number of extinctions we've seen in the past 100 years, I'm inclined to agree with him.

I know it is typical for very conservative Christians to argue for big families. I've even heard some preachers (not mine) imply--just imply mind you, not come right out and say--that people who only had one or two children were less spiritual than those with big families.

Let me be clear, I'm not prepared at this point to say that having a big family is wrong. I'm just saying I think the idea of zero population growth is a good one.

So, what do you think, have we obeyed that command or should we still be trying to fill the earth?

Things you'ld just as soon not hear your kids say

-"I ate a cicket leg once."
-"Hey Jeremiah, where's the screwdriver?"
-"Jeremiah's stuck to the tree!"
-"Don't worry about us."
-"We fished with sticks and sometimes we got a drink out of the lake."
-"I'm gonna grow a grape in the microwave."
-"You know that thing you said had snakes under it? We climbed to the top of it."
-"Holy guacamole, all the juice came out."

Lucky me, so far this weekend I've heard all of that. Never a dull moment here. But that's okay. I'm so thankful for my boys.

Just An Old Married Couple

There have been several things floating around in my mind that I have wanted to write about. The changes and beauty of springtime here in Central Texas & public education are the two main ones. However, there just hasn't been enough time.

I'm on vacation today so I finally have a few minutes to write. The aforementioned items notwithstanding, I will devote today to the celebration of our 13th wedding anniversary. Kris and I were lauging this morning that we did not get each other any gifts and the day is so busy we will hardly see each other. I decided we're just an old married couple and Kris decided that was a good thing. And she's right.

Kristin Lea, you really are right that the little things we do for each other every day are much more important than candy, flowers, jewelry, expensive clothing, or anything else that will eventually just be firewood. We have given each other ourselves and two incredible boys. What could be better?

When I think about what I want the boys to remember about us in 50 years I surely would not want them to remember a bunch of stuff. It makes me think of the Rich Mullins song...
"Talk about your miracles,
talk about your faith.
My dad he could make things grow
out of Indiana clay.
Mom could make a gourmet meal
out of just cornbread and beans.
They worked to give faith hands and feet,
but somehow gave it wings."

If we can give faith wings for Jonathan and Jeremiah to see, that's better than all the money in the world--and I know we'll have more fun doing it. Happy Anniversary. I love you!