Family Discipleship Minute 10: A Theology of Church

 We're rolling through a series of posts intended to help parents be the primary spiritual trainers of their children. The last three editions have encouraged you to think about your theology of family. We turn now to a theology of church. My premise is that you need to know what you believe about family and about church in order to determine how the two should work together in the disciple-making process, both generally and in relation to children.

We live in a time during which one can find many ideas about what church is and what it should do. Further, sometimes the Bible is very specific in prescribing things for the church and other times it provides only general descriptions. Some leaders believe churches today should align with the descriptions as well as the prescriptions, whereas others think church should follow the prescriptions and exercise freedom regarding the descriptions. Of course, there are churches that really do not adhere to either; rather they allow themselves to be guided by societal norms. Therefore, coming up with a theology of church may be a little more complex than sketching out your theology of family.

I will point you to some important passages and share some conclusions I have drawn. However, since these posts are supposed to be very short reads, I will not include much  detail or spend time supporting my claims. Please spend time prayerfully studying these ideas on your own. Definitely read what experts have written and then draw your own conclusions.

As you begin to think about church, what it is, what it does, and what your role in it should be, please study the following passages. Note, this is just to get you started. You will want to study others as well as your thoughts develop more fully.

• Matthew 16:13-20
• Matthew  18:15-20
• Matthew 28:16-20
• Acts 1:8
• Acts 2:42-47
• 1 Corinthians 5:9-13
• 1 Corinthians 12:12-31
• Ephesians 4:11-16
• Ephesians 5:19-33
• 1 Timothy 3:1-13
• Titus 1:5-9
• Hebrews 10:25
• James 3:1
• 1 Peter 5:1-5
• Revelation 2 and 3

In my opinion, many, if not most, Christians today do not put enough thought into church. Many seem to think it is a place to go once a week. Further, many tend to choose a church like they would choose a country club, social organization, or theme park. Beloved, this ought not be. Develop your beliefs about church based on Scripture and then put those beliefs into practice. Do not go to church solely for what you can get out of it. Be an active participant in your church as part of your service to Christ. As Rick Warren has famously written, "It's not about you."

I know that you will want to work out your theology of church on your own. However, allow me to share a few of my conclusions. I hope they will help you. Even if you disagree with me on some points, at least maybe I can help you think through things and form your own conclusions. Here are some of mine:

• Jesus is the head of the church.
• Jesus loves the church as evidenced by the fact that He died for it.
• The church is important in God's mission to redeem the lost.
• God builds the church as He sees fit.
• The church is made up only of individuals who are born again.
• People who are born again are adopted by God and as such have solidarity with Him and with the rest of those whom He has adopted. This solidarity is with all the redeemed; however, it can only be lived out among a local body of believers. Therefore, church membership and active participation are vital for anyone who is in Christ.
• Churches should be led by a plurality of elders. Elders should be biblically qualified (which includes them being male.) Even though elders are important leaders, they should act as shepherds, not managers. While elders lead, churches should be governed congregationally.
• Churches should focus on five major activities: discipleship, fellowship, ministry, evangelism, and worship.
• Churches should be very careful who they allow to teach within the body.

Hope this helps. See you next time. Thanks for stopping by.

Family Discipleship Minute 9: Continuing the Foundation

This series of posts is an attempt to expand the reach of the message about family discipleship. As stated before, it is not my message; rather it is part of a growing movement given voice by people such as Will and Meeke Addison, Voddie Baucham Jr., Mark Holmen, Ron Hunter Jr., Timothy Paul Jones, Rob Reinow, and others. This movement is important to me for two main reasons. One, it is biblical. Two, after almost 27 years of youth ministry, I am fully convinced that this is the only hope the church has for successfully training young people to be fully devoted followers of Christ.

Today’s post continues the discussion begun in Family Discipleship Minute 7, which looked briefly at the idea of building your own theology of family. To this point, I’ve listed what I believe are four big principles related to a biblical idea of family. In review, those principles are:

• Family is the first institution ordained by God
• Marital unity is a living picture of the unity found in the Trinity
• Marital unity is a living picture of Christ and the church
• In God’s view, marriage can only honorably be dissolved by death
• Singles and childless couples are equally important families within the body of Christ.

The next part of our theology of family is to consider the roll of children. Again, I will keep this very brief and encourage you to delve into these ideas on your own. In fact, I think I’ll just bullet point these as well.

• Children are the normal result of godly marriages (Genesis 1:27-28)
• A main goal of having/rearing children, since we bear God’s image, is for the world to be filled with His glory (Genesis 1:27-28)
• Children are a blessing from God and should be valued accordingly (Psalm 127:3-5)
• Parents (with the dad as the leader) bear the responsibility for training children in spiritual matters (Deuteronomy 6:4-7, Ephesians 6:4)
• Children should honor their parents (Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1-3)

At this point, you have a list of Scriptures and thoughts to get you started developing a theology of family. Please continue to think about this and read what others say about it. Next week we will take a brief look at ecclesiology, a theology of church. Once we have a belief system of family and church we can put them together to see how the two institutions should cooperate in training children.

Please do me a favor. I need to get this message out. Again, this is not about me. I'm simply echoing what others are saying. The more I read, the more I observe, the more strongly I believe the idea of parents teaching their children to follow Christ must be proclaimed and practiced. The favor I'm asking is, will you help me spread this concept? How? Simply share the link to one of these family discipleship minutes on your social media or in your own blog. If you are really bold, you could email the link to one of these posts to friends who might find it useful. Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for reading. Thanks for sharing. God bless you.

Questions to ponder or comment on:

How have your children blessed you?

If one purpose of rearing children is to spread God's glory throughout the earth, how will your children fulfill this role? Do they even know that they are supposed to do that?

Family Discipleship Minute 8: We're All In This Together

The thesis of this series of blog posts is that parents are responsible for the spiritual training of their children, and they should not turn that privilege over to anyone else. A concomitant task is to develop a theology of family and of church to guide you as you lead your family to worship at home and at your local assembly. The last post shared a few ideas towards developing a theology of family. This post will continue that quest by focusing on a couple of groups who (it feels to me) sometimes get neglected.

I read as much as I can on the subject of family discipleship as well as listening to similar content on the radio and internet. I get the sense that in their zeal to equip families the leaders in this area may sometimes inadvertently neglect single adults and childless couples. I am certain that none of the authors, preachers, and teachers to whom I listen believe that singles and childless couples are second class citizens or in any way unimportant, they just kind of get lost by the wayside sometimes. Therefore, as you construct your own theology of family, please make room for these categories.

I would like to point out a few notions to help you include these groups in your thinking. The first idea is that singles, far from being second class citizens, have the preferred status before God. Why would I say that? In Matthew 19, Jesus explains to the disciples why divorce is so terrible and the importance of married couples staying together for life. In response to this disclosure, the disciples conclude that it is better for people to remain single (Matthew 19:10.) Jesus replies that some people, for the sake of God’s kingdom, choose to remain single. In other words, some people are called to live as singles in order that they will have more time, energy, and resources to devote to God. Jesus closes the teaching by saying, “Let anyone accept this who can.” (Matthew 19:12)

Obviously, most people should marry and have children for the sake of perpetuating humanity. However, Jesus says that anyone who is capable of living celibately for the sake of God’s mission on earth should do so. God is quite pleased with men and women who live exclusively for Him. In fact, singleness (rather temporary or for a lifetime) should be seen by the single and by the rest of the church as a gift from God.

Couples and singles are bonded together as adopted children of God and there are many ways which the two groups can serve alongside each other and minister to one another. To mention just a couple, marrieds can provide encouragement, emotional support, and companionship to singles by offering them hospitality and genuine friendship. Likewise, singles can offer marrieds encouragement, emotional support, and help with parenting chores by offering hospitality and genuine friendship. We’re all in this together church, it’s time we act like it.

Another group that may sometimes get slighted is childless couples. Obviously, the ancient belief that a woman cannot have children because God is punishing her in some way is false. We should never make couples feel that God is judging them because they do not have children. Further, some couples choose not to have kids for personal reasons. We should not look down on them.

At this point, the objection will come, “but God commands us to have children and fill the earth in Genesis 1:28.” Yes, God did do that. In my opinion, that is God’s plan for most people. It is especially important in today’s culture that Christians have many children and raise them to know and love God so that we can carry on God’s mission in the world. This flows directly from Genesis 1:28 as well as Matthew 28:18-20. However, if a particular couple believes that we have essentially fulfilled Genesis 1:28, and they do not feel that God has given them a desire for offspring, I am not in the camp that would say we should view them as disobedient or unspiritual. We should view them as brothers and sisters in Christ who can be involved in the Great Commission in other ways.

In summary, singles and childless couples are not God’s red-headed stepchildren. They are highly valuable saints who have important roles to play in local churches and the larger kingdom. Parents with biological children, parents with adopted children, blended families, childless couples, singles, and single parents all make up the communities of faith we serve. All of us need to value one another and work together in making disciples around the world, but also in our homes and churches.

Questions to ponder (and answer in the comments):

1.  If you are married, how can you bless the singles in your life?

2.  If you are single, how can you bless the marrieds in your life?

3.  What do you think about Genesis 1:28? Have we filled the earth sufficiently? Are married people who choose not to have children being disobedient? Why or why not?

Family Discipleship Minute 7: Laying a Foundation

 

Quick review. The point of this series is to help you become the primary spiritual leader of your children. To date, the posts have tried to exhort you that, one, you can do this even if you feel you do not have time or are not qualified, two, God will personally empower you for this, three, the Bible commands this, and four, you should have some spiritual objectives for your children. The next two or three articles will aim to help you lay a theological foundation for your journey into family discipleship. If you are brand new to this series, you can go here to get the gist of why I’m sharing this message.

Today’s thoughts. All Christians should work to develop their theology. Get help from your pastor, your church, and others, but do not surrender the task completely to others. Further, working out your theology is not a one-time task; you will spend your life doing it and some aspects of it will change as you grow deeper in your relationship with Christ and your understanding of Scripture. Regarding discipleship in the home and at church, two components of your theology will be especially applicable. One is your theology of family and the second is your theology of church. (To give credit where credit is due, I believe that Voddie Baucham Jr. was the first person I noticed to suggest the importance of having a theology of family. However, I do not remember the book I saw this in, and I do not have any copies of his books to look it up. Sorry.)

Let’s briefly examine some things the Bible teaches about family. Briefly is an understatement. Here I will only hit a couple of highlights. You will do well to delve further into this concept on your own using the Scriptures and  the writings of those much wiser than me.

Big idea one, the family is an institution ordained by God. In fact, it is the first societal institution God set up. Genesis 1:26-28 and Genesis 2:7-8; 18-25 describe this. We can glean a few important sub-points from these texts. First, as already mentioned, this was God’s doing; family is not merely a societal construct. Second, marriage is the union of one man and one woman. Third, woman is the helper and complement to man (2:20). As we learn in the New Testament, man was created first and has headship within the family. This in no way implies that he should be a dictator or slave master. The husband is a servant leader. The fourth idea here is that husband and wife become one flesh; which is an expression of intimacy beyond merely the sexual. This marital unity leads to the next big idea.

Big idea two, I believe the unity indicated here is important in understanding one of the purposes of marriage. One man plus one woman become one flesh in the sight of God, so there are three agents here resulting in a unity. This mirrors the godhead as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one. God desires marriage to be a temporal reflection of the fellowship He enjoys eternally within the Trinity. A godly marriage is a testimony to the world of who God is.

Big ideas one and two are tied together as well. Marriage is a picture of the unity existent in the Godhead. A part of this picture is the submission of wife to husband because it mirrors Christ’s voluntary submission to the Father. The Son and the Father are equal in being, power, eternality, knowledge, divinity, and wisdom, yet Jesus voluntarily submits to the Father’s headship. Likewise, as a wife voluntarily submits to the husband’s headship, she provides the world with a Christ-like image of God and godliness.

Further, this idea of marriage as a picture for the world is picked back up in the New Testament. Ephesians 5 tells us that the union of man and wife is an image of the union between Christ and His church. Clearly, the idea of a marriage covenant is an important part of communicating to the world what God is like and what the relationship between God and His people is like. (This is one reason that sexual sin is so heinous; it perverts God’s plan for sexuality-sex is to be expressed within marriage only- thereby distorting the reflection we are supposed to see of Him.)

Big idea three, God’s best plan for marriage is that it can only be honorably dissolved by the death of one or both spouses. Matthew 19:1-11 lays this principle out very plainly. The Bible does allow (not require) divorce for a couple of very specific reasons. However, divorce should be rare in the kingdom of God. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) because it hurts people and because it perverts the portrait of unity found in the Godhead that marriage is supposed to demonstrate.

To summarize so far, marriage is the first societal institution that God ordained, the unity found in marriage pictures the unity found amongst the Trinity and the unity found between Christ and His church, and God’s best plan for marriage is that it is permanent. Those are just a few highlights, but this is already longer than it should be. We’ll pick up here next week. Thanks for your time.

 

Questions to ponder (or discuss in the comments):

1.  Does thinking of your marriage as a picture of the unity God has with Himself challenge you, motivate you, or bother you? How so?

 

2.  Review the three things we’ve said about marriage so far. Would your kids say that they recognize these things in your marriage? Would your church family say that they recognize these things in your marriage?

 

3.  What are some other big ideas you see in Scripture about marriage?