Another Sports Rant

 Thankfully, I've been able to watch a little bit of college football this season. I have especially enjoyed the late season games leading up to the bowls and the added playoff games. Even though I do enjoy football, especially college football, it's time for another rant. Now, you might think 'why rant? Just stop watching if you don't like it.' Well, it may come to that some day. I know quite a few people who stopped watching pro sports all together. However, I would rather see the game become more sportsmanlike than just stop watching it completely.

Here goes the rant. Frustration number one for me is how redundant the commercials are. A similar group of businesses sponsor NCAA football coverage year to year and they mostly use the same commercials all season. Sometimes they use the same commercials season after season. After two or three weeks of seeing the same commercials during every media timeout they get old, really old; and they stay that way for months.

Frustration number two is pass interference. The rule book certainly has an official definition of what constitutes pass interference. That definition certainly means nothing. I'm convinced that not a coach in the country bothers to teach their players to cover by the rules. In a way, you kind of can't blame them because the truth is that it really doesn't matter what the rule book says. What matters is what any given official is going to enforce, and that tends to be a mystery on any given play. It feels like every play that PI is not called the receiver is complaining and every play that it is called the defensive back is complaining. Basically, someone is going to whine no matter what; and the whining is annoying in and of itself. Why can we not get it right more often? Why can we not complain when the rules are enforced? Why have rules if we are not going to utilize them?

Come to think of it, holding by offensive lineman is a very similar situation. The rule book defines it, but there does not seem to be any consistency is what the officials call. Further, it does not appear that coaches teach players not to hold. I suspect they teach them to keep their man off the quarterback and maybe just warn them to make the holding discreet in hopes it will not be flagged.

Now, I think I have written about this before, but this whole idea of not enforcing rules is something that just bugs the hound out of me. I come at it from a Christian viewpoint. Of course, I realize that the sports world is not a Christian organization (although I'm pleased with how many NCAA football programs do have a strong Christian presence.) Yet, we are supposedly a civilized society. We are supposed to value respect, courtesy, the rule of law, sportsmanship, and so forth.  Therefore, if you are going to have rules then you should enforce them.

We hear players, announcers, coaches, and even officials talk about not throwing a flag for infractions that happen "away from the play" or that "do not affect the play." That mindset makes absolutely no sense to me at all. If something is defined as wrong, then it is always wrong. Wrong is not defined by it's effects. Wrong is defined by the rules. When the rules are violated an infraction has occurred. 

"O but if they call every foul on every play, the game would take forever." Boo hoo. Teach the players not to break the rules. "But sometimes fouls are strategic." That does not make it okay. "O but it is better to foul than to get beat for a score." That's what is wrong with sports these days. People care more about winning than winning ethically. I look at it from the perspective of the old adage "cheaters never win." If you did not get scored on because you broke a rule, then you really got scored on. If you win a game but you broke the rules, then you really did not win the game. By definition, breaking the rules is cheating and by definition players who break the rules are cheaters. We currently have a whole bunch of cheaters playing at every level of football and probably most other sports. Sadly, it does not seem like too many people care. Few parents, coaches, or announcers are interested in training players to compete according to the rules. Kind of ironic, isn't it, considering the oft' repeated mantra that "sports builds character."

Next point of frustration:  sideline reporters. Are they not a waste of time? I mean, it is nice when they report during the broadcast about an injury or something. However, when they give them the stage for their little pregame, pre halftime, pre second half, and post game interviews, they are not adding anything to the experience. Sideline reporters are masters of asking meaningless questions. And coaches are masters of giving meaningless answers. Nobody benefits from those miniature interviews. Why do we keep doing them?

Moving on to another annoying subject: coaches throwing conniption fits (I was not going to say anything about this, but I'm watching the Sugar Bowl and they just showed Kirby Smart acting like a two year old.) I do not care that they are under pressure to win. I do not care that they have to try to manage youngsters (which surely is frustrating.) These men are supposed to be professionals. They are the leaders in their fields and on their campuses. They make obscene amounts of money. Why do we excuse them for acting like toddlers? Think about it. We would not be comfortable with this type of behavior from other professions. You would not be okay with your banker, your doctor, your mechanic, or anyone else in your life acting like that. Why is it considered acceptable from coaches? The Bible warns us to get rid of wrath and anger, yet even Christian coaches are excused for this behavior. It does not make sense.

One more frustrating thing about college football and I will stop. I am sick and tired of what we used to call "hot-dogging" or "show boating." Now, it is just considered "celebrating." Perhaps this is the most subjective of my beefs. Clearly, it is not a problem for most people. To me it seems prideful, undignified, and unsportsmanlike. I can understand some cheering and jumping up and down after a big win, but the "celebrating" has gotten out of hand. Pretty much after every single play somebody is involved with some type of animated gesturing that draws attention to themselves and (to me) looks stupid. Again, we would not accept this in other venues. Imagine if your checker at the grocery store starting pounding their chest, pretending to rip open their shirt, and howling at the ceiling after they handed you your receipt. Okay, you did your job, congratulations. Why do you have to act like you just saved the free world? Seriously, these guys are just carrying out their assignments and they act like they cured cancer. Have some class and dignity. Make the play and go back to the huddle. Save the celebration for after the game.

Okay, I'm done for tonight. Maybe you were entertained, maybe you weren't. But I feel a little better ;-)

Need to Vent a Little about the BGCT

 It's been a long time since I posted a blog. It's been an even longer time since I had been to a BGCT annual meeting, until yesterday anyway. I'm frustrated about how the business went down this time and I want to express it. However, I don't want to be negative or divisive, so I'll just vent a bit here and I won't have to worry about anyone actually seeing it.

Soooo, what's the deal pickle? Well, yesterday someone made a motion that the BGCT affirm the Baptist Faith and Message 2000 edition. This is a statement of faith or confession of faith meant to encapsulate basic doctrines that Baptists hold. Throughout the history of Baptists, there have been many such confessions which served their purposes for the times in which they were written. The Baptist Faith and Message was written by Southern Baptists in the 1920s, updated in 1969, and revised again in 2000. The 2000 version was authored by a committee which included several members associated with "the conservative resurgence." In my opinion, the 2000 version of the document did a very good job of updating language and clarifying some topics in a manner that made the confession more relevant to the cultural context of the 21st century.

One change the 2000 iteration made was to actually spell out that, biblically, the office of pastor is reserved for men. It was also revised again in 2023 to say the office of pastor/elder/overseer is reserved for men. Over the past few years the question of whether or not women are biblically qualified to serve in vocational ministry has been a source of contention among Southern Baptists. I suppose it was inevitable that Texas Baptists would also deal with it as the BGCT, Truett Seminary, and many churches in Texas are in favor of women serving as pastors (as in the senior pastor of a church, not merely "children's pastor" or something like that.) However, a number of individuals and churches still understand Scripture to teach that the office can only be held by men.

Back to the motion made in Monday's business session. The person who made the motion stated that the reason he brought it was simply so that BGCT churches who wanted to could partner with the North American Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention. He made it clear that for the convention to affirm the Baptist Faith and Message 2000 in no way bound an individual church to adopt it. Local church autonomy would still be clearly in play.

I believed the motion would be rejected, as the climate of Texas Baptists has clearly leaned left recently. However, I thought the vote would at least be kind of close. It was not. I am upset that so many folks do not understand the Scripture to teach that only men can be elders, but my concerns are far beyond that. First of all, as I said above, the 2000 version addresses issues that needed to be addressed in today's world. For a person, or church, to ignore these issues simply because they disagree with one or two other things in the treatise is inconsistent to me UNLESS you are fully convinced that the work is blatantly heretical. However, few Texas Baptists really think it is heretical; they claim it is just a matter of misinterpreting a few difficult texts that are heavily nuanced. They claim it should be a matter of local church autonomy. I think they are not being honest.

I do not think they are being honest with themselves based on what I heard in the business session today. Essentially, in my opinion, a whole bunch of Texas Baptists who want to be progressive (and creative in their hermeneutics) are still frustrated and upset about the conservative resurgence. They are not going to give one inch of ground to conservatives even if it makes sense to do so. They are going to fight with their feelings and try to convince everyone around them that they have some kind of higher understanding of Scripture and we better not try to tell them otherwise.

The ironic thing, and the second concept that irks me about the vote, is that the moderates/liberals are crying foul without recognizing that they are the ones guilty of the crimes they accuse others of. They want to say that conservatives are violating local church autonomy, when they are actually dismissing it in their arguments. They want to accuse conservatives of being exclusive, when they are actually the ones drawing lines and shutting people out. Maybe I am extra sensitive because we have just come through an election cycle and I've been flooded with leftist political pundits doing the same thing, i.e., accusing the right of crimes they themselves are guilty of. Frankly, though, I'm really tired of that tactic and seeing it on display from some of my fellow Texas Baptists has left me frustrated to the point of not wanting to be a part of their hypocrisy anymore. {You may tell me to just leave then, but it is not that simple. I have a church to consider. I am not going to try to move a church simply over my battle fatigue. I will have to pray and see what God may do.}

Let me end with an illustration of my first problem, how can the moderates ignore the really good things in the 2000 document just so they can get their way about one issue (women pastors)? Article 15 updates some concepts about secular culture and how the church relates to it. The 1969 account of this article was solid for its time. However, by the year 2000 our culture was under assault from homosexual activism, Roe v. Wade had resulted in millions of babies being legally murdered, euthanasia was gaining acceptance, internet pornography (and other types) was ruining many lives and families, and we were still battling racial prejudices. As a response to these atrocities, the 2000 version enlarged a section as follows, “in the spirit of Christ, Christians should oppose racism, every form of greed, selfishness, and vice, and all forms of sexual immorality, including adultery, homosexuality, and pornography. We should work to provide for the orphaned, the needy, the abused, the aged, the helpless, and the sick. We should speak on behalf of the unborn and contend for the sanctity of all human life from conception to natural death.” It seems clear to me that in our current cultural climate, the 2000 version is much more applicable to following Christ in such a time as this. However, the moderates are willing to jettison important statements like that rather than admit that the Bible clearly teaches only men can hold the office of pastor. It turns my stomach. I lost a lot of respect for some people who spoke today and who voted against the motion. 

Okay, end of rant. Maybe I feel a little better. But I don't think so. Not yet anyway.

Covid-19 Circa 2022

 Almost two full years since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic and I have finally contracted the disease. I told you I was slow. Sometimes it is good to be slow! The nurse did not tell me which variant I have, but based on what I've read, I think it is the Omicron variant. Terrible headache, scratchy throat, fever, cough, stuffy nose, body aches, malaise, and extreme fatigue. I have had no loss of smell or taste, thank God.

Am I vaccinated? Yes I am. I got the two initial shots in March of 2021 because my doctor said it was important. I wish I had researched it more before I did that. However, I am now one more data point indicating the jab is not efficacious despite what the media and big pharma insist. (The negative about the jab goes way beyond the fact that they do not prevent the disease in the way that the polio or mumps vaccinations prevented those infections. I know embalmers who swear they can tell whether or not someone has had the jab based on how their blood behaves. Friends, that is not good.)

Since spring of 2021 I have heard multiple interviews, and read multiple articles and blog posts, by MDs, PhDs, nurses, and others discussing how the events surrounding this pandemic have opened their eyes to how our medical system has been commandeered by corporations and institutions with a very left-leaning agenda. So yes, I'm one of the conspiracy theorists who think that these new mRNA "vaccines" really do not protect us from Covid-19, they simply serve as a way for the elites to exercise more control over us. Along those lines, I encourage you to browse around over at https://americasfrontlinedoctors.org/ and https://www.cchfreedom.org/about.php.

Thank God I am recovering nicely so far. My fever broke today and to this point I have had no trouble breathing. I went to an express care clinic on Saturday (today is Monday). The clinic tested me for strep-throat, seasonal flu, and Covid-19. All the rapid tests were negative. The provider suggested I get more thorough tests for four or five specific viral diseases. The clinic called me back Sunday night to tell me I was positive for Covid. I asked if I had missed the window for an anti-viral. The nurse checked with the doctor and came back and said I could get it if I wanted it (I don't remember which one she said) but that since I was healthy with no risk factors it was probably unnecessary. Even though I suspect the clinic may get government money for treating me as a Covid patient, I am trusting the test results are true. This definitely feels different than other respiratory viruses I have had.

I asked about the anti-viral specifically to see what she would say. I already know that, because of managed care and big pharma, none of the providers in my area will prescribe ivermectin or hydroxychloroquine. The closest doctor that will do this is 30 miles away and she has a long waiting list. What's my point? My point is that I'm worried about my wife and son. Both have risk factors that I do not have and should they catch this from me, it will be difficult to get them the medicine they need within the 48 hour window.

So my fellow Americans, join me in speaking out against undue government control, join me in speaking out against scientific journals and institutions that have bowed to the environmental and leftist agendas, join me in praying for revival. And join me in supporting, to whatever extent you can, healthcare professionals that operate outside the current managed care structure. Look for doctors that offer concierge services or are affiliated with groups such as America's Frontline Doctors.

Convince me I'm wrong

 I'm afraid I've been browsing church websites again. I'll stop short of using the phrase "I defy you to," but I think you will have a tough time finding a church website whose youth ministry page does not say something about "fun," "excitement," "high energy," etc. Those things are not wrong or even necessarily bad, but why do we have to insert those into most children's and youth ministries? Why can we just not make our ministries about exalting Jesus?

Why do I even care? Because we spend 12 years conditioning kids to feel that church (and therefore Christianity) is all about fun, excitement, energy, and feeling good. After that, they get into the "real world" and adult discipleship programs and suddenly they are no longer having fun. It's no wonder so many of them end up dropping out of church. How could we expect anything less when we've worked so hard to get them in the doors and keep them coming back with food, games, parties, trips, and big events but no expectations of what discipleship really means?

Family Discipleship Minute 10: A Theology of Church

 We're rolling through a series of posts intended to help parents be the primary spiritual trainers of their children. The last three editions have encouraged you to think about your theology of family. We turn now to a theology of church. My premise is that you need to know what you believe about family and about church in order to determine how the two should work together in the disciple-making process, both generally and in relation to children.

We live in a time during which one can find many ideas about what church is and what it should do. Further, sometimes the Bible is very specific in prescribing things for the church and other times it provides only general descriptions. Some leaders believe churches today should align with the descriptions as well as the prescriptions, whereas others think church should follow the prescriptions and exercise freedom regarding the descriptions. Of course, there are churches that really do not adhere to either; rather they allow themselves to be guided by societal norms. Therefore, coming up with a theology of church may be a little more complex than sketching out your theology of family.

I will point you to some important passages and share some conclusions I have drawn. However, since these posts are supposed to be very short reads, I will not include much  detail or spend time supporting my claims. Please spend time prayerfully studying these ideas on your own. Definitely read what experts have written and then draw your own conclusions.

As you begin to think about church, what it is, what it does, and what your role in it should be, please study the following passages. Note, this is just to get you started. You will want to study others as well as your thoughts develop more fully.

• Matthew 16:13-20
• Matthew  18:15-20
• Matthew 28:16-20
• Acts 1:8
• Acts 2:42-47
• 1 Corinthians 5:9-13
• 1 Corinthians 12:12-31
• Ephesians 4:11-16
• Ephesians 5:19-33
• 1 Timothy 3:1-13
• Titus 1:5-9
• Hebrews 10:25
• James 3:1
• 1 Peter 5:1-5
• Revelation 2 and 3

In my opinion, many, if not most, Christians today do not put enough thought into church. Many seem to think it is a place to go once a week. Further, many tend to choose a church like they would choose a country club, social organization, or theme park. Beloved, this ought not be. Develop your beliefs about church based on Scripture and then put those beliefs into practice. Do not go to church solely for what you can get out of it. Be an active participant in your church as part of your service to Christ. As Rick Warren has famously written, "It's not about you."

I know that you will want to work out your theology of church on your own. However, allow me to share a few of my conclusions. I hope they will help you. Even if you disagree with me on some points, at least maybe I can help you think through things and form your own conclusions. Here are some of mine:

• Jesus is the head of the church.
• Jesus loves the church as evidenced by the fact that He died for it.
• The church is important in God's mission to redeem the lost.
• God builds the church as He sees fit.
• The church is made up only of individuals who are born again.
• People who are born again are adopted by God and as such have solidarity with Him and with the rest of those whom He has adopted. This solidarity is with all the redeemed; however, it can only be lived out among a local body of believers. Therefore, church membership and active participation are vital for anyone who is in Christ.
• Churches should be led by a plurality of elders. Elders should be biblically qualified (which includes them being male.) Even though elders are important leaders, they should act as shepherds, not managers. While elders lead, churches should be governed congregationally.
• Churches should focus on five major activities: discipleship, fellowship, ministry, evangelism, and worship.
• Churches should be very careful who they allow to teach within the body.

Hope this helps. See you next time. Thanks for stopping by.

Family Discipleship Minute 9: Continuing the Foundation

This series of posts is an attempt to expand the reach of the message about family discipleship. As stated before, it is not my message; rather it is part of a growing movement given voice by people such as Will and Meeke Addison, Voddie Baucham Jr., Mark Holmen, Ron Hunter Jr., Timothy Paul Jones, Rob Reinow, and others. This movement is important to me for two main reasons. One, it is biblical. Two, after almost 27 years of youth ministry, I am fully convinced that this is the only hope the church has for successfully training young people to be fully devoted followers of Christ.

Today’s post continues the discussion begun in Family Discipleship Minute 7, which looked briefly at the idea of building your own theology of family. To this point, I’ve listed what I believe are four big principles related to a biblical idea of family. In review, those principles are:

• Family is the first institution ordained by God
• Marital unity is a living picture of the unity found in the Trinity
• Marital unity is a living picture of Christ and the church
• In God’s view, marriage can only honorably be dissolved by death
• Singles and childless couples are equally important families within the body of Christ.

The next part of our theology of family is to consider the roll of children. Again, I will keep this very brief and encourage you to delve into these ideas on your own. In fact, I think I’ll just bullet point these as well.

• Children are the normal result of godly marriages (Genesis 1:27-28)
• A main goal of having/rearing children, since we bear God’s image, is for the world to be filled with His glory (Genesis 1:27-28)
• Children are a blessing from God and should be valued accordingly (Psalm 127:3-5)
• Parents (with the dad as the leader) bear the responsibility for training children in spiritual matters (Deuteronomy 6:4-7, Ephesians 6:4)
• Children should honor their parents (Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1-3)

At this point, you have a list of Scriptures and thoughts to get you started developing a theology of family. Please continue to think about this and read what others say about it. Next week we will take a brief look at ecclesiology, a theology of church. Once we have a belief system of family and church we can put them together to see how the two institutions should cooperate in training children.

Please do me a favor. I need to get this message out. Again, this is not about me. I'm simply echoing what others are saying. The more I read, the more I observe, the more strongly I believe the idea of parents teaching their children to follow Christ must be proclaimed and practiced. The favor I'm asking is, will you help me spread this concept? How? Simply share the link to one of these family discipleship minutes on your social media or in your own blog. If you are really bold, you could email the link to one of these posts to friends who might find it useful. Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for reading. Thanks for sharing. God bless you.

Questions to ponder or comment on:

How have your children blessed you?

If one purpose of rearing children is to spread God's glory throughout the earth, how will your children fulfill this role? Do they even know that they are supposed to do that?

Family Discipleship Minute 8: We're All In This Together

The thesis of this series of blog posts is that parents are responsible for the spiritual training of their children, and they should not turn that privilege over to anyone else. A concomitant task is to develop a theology of family and of church to guide you as you lead your family to worship at home and at your local assembly. The last post shared a few ideas towards developing a theology of family. This post will continue that quest by focusing on a couple of groups who (it feels to me) sometimes get neglected.

I read as much as I can on the subject of family discipleship as well as listening to similar content on the radio and internet. I get the sense that in their zeal to equip families the leaders in this area may sometimes inadvertently neglect single adults and childless couples. I am certain that none of the authors, preachers, and teachers to whom I listen believe that singles and childless couples are second class citizens or in any way unimportant, they just kind of get lost by the wayside sometimes. Therefore, as you construct your own theology of family, please make room for these categories.

I would like to point out a few notions to help you include these groups in your thinking. The first idea is that singles, far from being second class citizens, have the preferred status before God. Why would I say that? In Matthew 19, Jesus explains to the disciples why divorce is so terrible and the importance of married couples staying together for life. In response to this disclosure, the disciples conclude that it is better for people to remain single (Matthew 19:10.) Jesus replies that some people, for the sake of God’s kingdom, choose to remain single. In other words, some people are called to live as singles in order that they will have more time, energy, and resources to devote to God. Jesus closes the teaching by saying, “Let anyone accept this who can.” (Matthew 19:12)

Obviously, most people should marry and have children for the sake of perpetuating humanity. However, Jesus says that anyone who is capable of living celibately for the sake of God’s mission on earth should do so. God is quite pleased with men and women who live exclusively for Him. In fact, singleness (rather temporary or for a lifetime) should be seen by the single and by the rest of the church as a gift from God.

Couples and singles are bonded together as adopted children of God and there are many ways which the two groups can serve alongside each other and minister to one another. To mention just a couple, marrieds can provide encouragement, emotional support, and companionship to singles by offering them hospitality and genuine friendship. Likewise, singles can offer marrieds encouragement, emotional support, and help with parenting chores by offering hospitality and genuine friendship. We’re all in this together church, it’s time we act like it.

Another group that may sometimes get slighted is childless couples. Obviously, the ancient belief that a woman cannot have children because God is punishing her in some way is false. We should never make couples feel that God is judging them because they do not have children. Further, some couples choose not to have kids for personal reasons. We should not look down on them.

At this point, the objection will come, “but God commands us to have children and fill the earth in Genesis 1:28.” Yes, God did do that. In my opinion, that is God’s plan for most people. It is especially important in today’s culture that Christians have many children and raise them to know and love God so that we can carry on God’s mission in the world. This flows directly from Genesis 1:28 as well as Matthew 28:18-20. However, if a particular couple believes that we have essentially fulfilled Genesis 1:28, and they do not feel that God has given them a desire for offspring, I am not in the camp that would say we should view them as disobedient or unspiritual. We should view them as brothers and sisters in Christ who can be involved in the Great Commission in other ways.

In summary, singles and childless couples are not God’s red-headed stepchildren. They are highly valuable saints who have important roles to play in local churches and the larger kingdom. Parents with biological children, parents with adopted children, blended families, childless couples, singles, and single parents all make up the communities of faith we serve. All of us need to value one another and work together in making disciples around the world, but also in our homes and churches.

Questions to ponder (and answer in the comments):

1.  If you are married, how can you bless the singles in your life?

2.  If you are single, how can you bless the marrieds in your life?

3.  What do you think about Genesis 1:28? Have we filled the earth sufficiently? Are married people who choose not to have children being disobedient? Why or why not?

Family Discipleship Minute 7: Laying a Foundation

 

Quick review. The point of this series is to help you become the primary spiritual leader of your children. To date, the posts have tried to exhort you that, one, you can do this even if you feel you do not have time or are not qualified, two, God will personally empower you for this, three, the Bible commands this, and four, you should have some spiritual objectives for your children. The next two or three articles will aim to help you lay a theological foundation for your journey into family discipleship. If you are brand new to this series, you can go here to get the gist of why I’m sharing this message.

Today’s thoughts. All Christians should work to develop their theology. Get help from your pastor, your church, and others, but do not surrender the task completely to others. Further, working out your theology is not a one-time task; you will spend your life doing it and some aspects of it will change as you grow deeper in your relationship with Christ and your understanding of Scripture. Regarding discipleship in the home and at church, two components of your theology will be especially applicable. One is your theology of family and the second is your theology of church. (To give credit where credit is due, I believe that Voddie Baucham Jr. was the first person I noticed to suggest the importance of having a theology of family. However, I do not remember the book I saw this in, and I do not have any copies of his books to look it up. Sorry.)

Let’s briefly examine some things the Bible teaches about family. Briefly is an understatement. Here I will only hit a couple of highlights. You will do well to delve further into this concept on your own using the Scriptures and  the writings of those much wiser than me.

Big idea one, the family is an institution ordained by God. In fact, it is the first societal institution God set up. Genesis 1:26-28 and Genesis 2:7-8; 18-25 describe this. We can glean a few important sub-points from these texts. First, as already mentioned, this was God’s doing; family is not merely a societal construct. Second, marriage is the union of one man and one woman. Third, woman is the helper and complement to man (2:20). As we learn in the New Testament, man was created first and has headship within the family. This in no way implies that he should be a dictator or slave master. The husband is a servant leader. The fourth idea here is that husband and wife become one flesh; which is an expression of intimacy beyond merely the sexual. This marital unity leads to the next big idea.

Big idea two, I believe the unity indicated here is important in understanding one of the purposes of marriage. One man plus one woman become one flesh in the sight of God, so there are three agents here resulting in a unity. This mirrors the godhead as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one. God desires marriage to be a temporal reflection of the fellowship He enjoys eternally within the Trinity. A godly marriage is a testimony to the world of who God is.

Big ideas one and two are tied together as well. Marriage is a picture of the unity existent in the Godhead. A part of this picture is the submission of wife to husband because it mirrors Christ’s voluntary submission to the Father. The Son and the Father are equal in being, power, eternality, knowledge, divinity, and wisdom, yet Jesus voluntarily submits to the Father’s headship. Likewise, as a wife voluntarily submits to the husband’s headship, she provides the world with a Christ-like image of God and godliness.

Further, this idea of marriage as a picture for the world is picked back up in the New Testament. Ephesians 5 tells us that the union of man and wife is an image of the union between Christ and His church. Clearly, the idea of a marriage covenant is an important part of communicating to the world what God is like and what the relationship between God and His people is like. (This is one reason that sexual sin is so heinous; it perverts God’s plan for sexuality-sex is to be expressed within marriage only- thereby distorting the reflection we are supposed to see of Him.)

Big idea three, God’s best plan for marriage is that it can only be honorably dissolved by the death of one or both spouses. Matthew 19:1-11 lays this principle out very plainly. The Bible does allow (not require) divorce for a couple of very specific reasons. However, divorce should be rare in the kingdom of God. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) because it hurts people and because it perverts the portrait of unity found in the Godhead that marriage is supposed to demonstrate.

To summarize so far, marriage is the first societal institution that God ordained, the unity found in marriage pictures the unity found amongst the Trinity and the unity found between Christ and His church, and God’s best plan for marriage is that it is permanent. Those are just a few highlights, but this is already longer than it should be. We’ll pick up here next week. Thanks for your time.

 

Questions to ponder (or discuss in the comments):

1.  Does thinking of your marriage as a picture of the unity God has with Himself challenge you, motivate you, or bother you? How so?

 

2.  Review the three things we’ve said about marriage so far. Would your kids say that they recognize these things in your marriage? Would your church family say that they recognize these things in your marriage?

 

3.  What are some other big ideas you see in Scripture about marriage?

Family Discipleship Minute 6: A Rant

 My plan for this post was to begin discussing the idea of laying a theological foundation for family and for church. That foundation then guides your behavior. That was my plan, but something triggered me last week and I’ve decided to get on my soap box for a minute. Next week’s post will (probably) start examining the basics of a theology of family. Until then, here’s my rant. . .

If you read job descriptions for children’s ministers and youth ministers, as well as the children’s and youth ministry sections of church websites, you will frequently see some version of this phrase, “our kids have fun and still learn about Jesus.” The verbiage is not always identical, but the sentiment almost always conveys the idea that the children (I’m using “children” to refer to school age kids, K-12) in their programs will have fun and simultaneously learn the Bible, learn about God, grow spiritually, and so forth. Now, I’m not anti-fun. I do not think it is wrong to have fun while doing some spiritual things. However, let me translate “our kids have fun and still learn about Jesus” for you.

The leaders of these programs are essentially saying that they realize young people are inundated with entertainment options. Young people have electronic devices, toys, games, bicycles, movies, skate parks, trampoline parks, amusement parks, swimming pools, concerts, bowling alleys, rage rooms, comedy clubs, party barges, sports cars, sporting events, etcetera ad nauseum, and those churches are scared to death that their programs will not be enticing to young people who have so many options at their disposal. Based on that fear, they include a host of gimmicks in their meetings including games, skits, competitions, prizes, free food, and so forth. The thinking is that they can compete with secular entertainment for the attention of young people. Then, when the students are hooked by how fun things at the church are, they can hit them with the truth of Scripture.

That methodology sounds logical and churches in the US have been practicing it, and perfecting it in many ways, for the past few decades. However, in my opinion, this method has several flaws. Flaw number one, it bows down to consumerism in the church. In this paradigm, children’s and youth ministries constantly have to reinvent themselves in an effort to “one up” the church down the street, or the kids will simply move along to wherever the most fun is. Therefore, young people learn that church is about going where they are most entertained which is light years from how we ought to view church.

Flaw number two, this model presents a false idea about what it means to follow Jesus. When children spend year after year in programs that are all about how fun and non-boring their classes and services are, they eventually receive the message that being a disciple of Christ is a self-serving endeavor. Eventually, individuals mature enough to realize that life is not all about having fun. In fact, they realize life is full of very real challenges which they have not been equipped to handle by the church, so they look for solutions elsewhere.

Flaw number three is that it is virtually impossible for 95% of churches to provide the kind of entertainment young people can find elsewhere. Sooner or later, the “fun” aspect of church wears off or gives way to institutions that are actually more fun, and as with flaw two, the person then leaves the church in search of something better.

Flaw number four, in a sense, this method of spiritual training is dishonest; it is a bait and switch. The leaders attempt to lure children to church with the promise of fun, food, free stuff, or other rewards, then eventually get around to the real reason they want kids there which is to expose them to Christianity. We are so accustomed to doing church this way, we don’t even realize the duplicity. I suggest you would not settle for this methodology in any of the other activities you put your kids in. Why should it be okay in the church?

Flaw number five, this is the paradigm that has brought us to where we are as the western evangelical church. We do not do a very good job of making disciples, but those statistics are for another post.

Flaw number six (there are probably other flaws here, but I’ll make this the bottom of my list), it is built upon the notion of an anemic god rather than the almighty God of Scripture. Think about what people adhering to this form of discipleship are really saying. They’re saying, “we know our god cannot compete with all the entertaining things you have access to, so we are going to put some spice in our services to make following him more palatable.” They are saying, “we know you’re not really mature enough to handle big spiritual truths, so we are going to simply entertain you for thirty minutes and then give you a few minutes of Jesus stories.” They are saying, “we know our god cannot really make a difference in what you’re facing in everyday life, so we are going to plan some things that will give you an endorphin rush. Then, we’ll throw in a little Bible study to spiritualize it all.” Is this really a healthy way to present the King of Kings and Lord of Lords? Is Jesus, in and of Himself, not enough? Can we not offer young people a relationship with their Creator and expect Him to be sufficient to capture their attention as He captures their hearts?

Please pay attention friends. I am NOT saying that there is no place for games, skits, object lessons, food, and fun in ministry. These things can be used to build fellowship, to teach lessons, and to meet legitimate physical needs. HOWEVER, when fun becomes a primary objective, consumerism is always the end result, and the ministry will likely fall into one or more of the flaws I’ve outlined. Fun and games do a good job of filling up classrooms, youth rooms, and even entire buildings, but they do a very poor job of making disciples.

What does this have to do with family discipleship? One, if your kids are only getting spiritual milk at church, they better be getting some meat at home. Two, you are responsible for protecting your kids spiritually. If they are growing up in a ministry that puts entertainment ahead of discipleship, you can get involved and help the ministry grow into what it ought to be.

Family Discipleship Minute 5: Can We Just Get On With It?

Welcome and thanks for stopping by. This post is number five in a series of blurbs aimed at helping you be the primary spiritual leader for your children. I've struggled with what to say at this point because I want to help anyone who reads this, but I want to help you see the big picture and not just help you with baby steps. However, baby steps are usually the way to start, so I've been conflicted on whether to write about a baby step or deal with a big picture item.

According to the Blogger statistics, about 7.18 people read this (or at least open it in your browser for a second) and I don't want to lose anyone for lack of practical ideas. The previous posts have attempted to lay some groundwork for this family discipleship stuff and much foundation is left to pour. Why? Because we need to let our theology drive our behavior rather than the other way around. However, some of you may be ready for practical idea, so I will include one pragmatic baby step at the end of this post, but first I want to ask you a favor.

I need to get this message out. If that sounds arrogant to you, please remember that it is not my message. I am simply echoing the voices of people like Voddie Baucham Jr., Mark Holmen, Ron Hunter Jr., Timothy Paul Jones, Rob Rienow, and others. Even Wayne Rice, who was a youth ministry guru during what might have been the most explosive season of growth for student ministry, eventually led a ministry to aid discipleship in the home and now has a ministry equipping grandparents to be involved in discipleship. This is not my message, but the more I read, the more I observe, the more strongly I believe the idea of parents teaching their children to follow Christ must be proclaimed and practiced. The favor I'm asking is, will you help me spread this concept? How? Simply share the link to one of these family discipleship minutes on your social media or in your own blog. If you are really bold, you could email the link to one of these posts to friends who might find it useful.

The next post will return to laying some foundational ideas from Scripture. For now, I'll give you a baby step that you can take. Go to church as a family. You may think you already do that, but if you all go different directions when you walk in the door, are you really going as a family? At this point, I am not suggesting the whole family go to the same Sunday school class. However, when you go to the worship service, go together. Your kids need to see you worship. Yes, it is difficult to wrangle young children. Yes, teenagers want to sit with their friends or the youth group. Don't worry about all that. Be in worship together.

If you have really little ones and you just cannot handle them in worship, utilize the nursery. But as soon as possible, get your children in the service with you. Children are likely to stand and sing with you, especially if you encourage them and model it for them. Also, you can do several things to help them stay still during the message. Bring them a snack, have something for them to color or read, let them take turns sitting on mom's lap and then dad's, etc. When they are old enough, which is probably younger than you think, have them take notes on the sermon (and help them.) Talk to them during the week about the importance of worship and the importance of behaving appropriately during the meeting. Reward them for good behavior in church and punish them for inappropriate behavior. Finally, realize that kids absorb more than you think they do even if they are fidgetting or seem to be doing something else.

If your teenagers don't think it is cool to sit with mom and dad, tough stuff cream puff. You are the parent. I'm not saying you have to be a dictator. Talk to them during the week about the importance of worshipping God as a family. Negotiate with them if you need to, but they need to be in church with you.

Okay, there's your baby step. If you are already doing that, kudos to you! Future posts will have other practical steps you can take. Please help me spread this message by posting a link to one of these little articles on your social media, or by emailing the link to friends who might find it beneficial. Thanks again for your time.

Questions for thought and discussion (feel free to leave comments):

1. Does your church's youth group get bigger right before and after summer camp and then dwindle again by August? Do people blame the youth pastor for that? How might that pattern change if parents were leading their children in the home?

2. Does your pastor ever specifically address children and teens during the sermon? Should he?

3. Do you think we will be separated by age groups in heaven? Why or why not?

Family Discipleship Minute 4: Tell Me What You Want

 Last week I touched on the idea of what you want for your kids; what goals do you have for them? Today's post will delve a little more deeply into that. When your children were born, did you give any thought to the kind of adults they would grow to be? When you picture your kids at different stages in life, are there certain qualities or traits you hope they will possess? What is it that you are seeking when you discipline your children or when you endeavor to instruct them in some realm? In your mind, what will your child be like at the age of 24 in order for you to consider him/her a success? In your mind, what will your child be like at the age of 24 in order for you to consider yourself a success as a parent?

Why am I asking you so many questions about how you want your progeny to turn out? Well, there is an old saying, "if you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time." In other words, if you do not have an objective, or target, which you are working to achieve, you cannot possibly end up with a specific result. For example, suppose you want to make a pecan pie, you cannot simply go into the kitchen and start randomly doing tasks. You must first obtain a pecan pie recipe and then enact the steps listed in it.

Clearly, having no target to aim at is a bad way to go about life. Another bad way to go about life is to aim at the wrong target. Suppose your goal in life is to make a fortune. You spend your time and energy doing what it takes to amass wealth and suppose you succeed. Now suppose you come to the end of your life and Jesus says to you, "what does it profit a man to gain the whole world but lose his soul?" You had a target, you hit your target, but in the light of eternity it was the wrong target. When it comes to bringing up our children, it is vital that we are not laboring without an end in mind and equally vital that we are laboring with the correct end in mind.

Perspectives on Family Ministry: Three Views (edited by Timothy Paul Jones) includes a story of a church staff that wanted to do a better job of discipling teenagers. The youth ministry surveyed the parents to find out what they wanted for their kids. The idea was that such information would help them know how to come alongside the parents and work towards the same spiritual goals. However, very few parents had any spiritual goals for their kids. The basic desires parents had was for their teens to make good grades so they could get into a good college so they could get a good job so they could be happy. Of course, these are worthwhile things to wish for your offspring. However, the Bible calls us to much higher purposes.

The first three posts in this series aimed to cheer-lead for you. The idea was to convince you that you can lead your family spiritually. This post is meant to challenge you. Do the goals you have for your child line up with what God wants for him/her? Is it your desire to see your child know Christ and have His character formed in his/her life? If not, why not?

Let's close with a suggestion. Read Matthew 6:33. Then, spend some time praying about what it would look like for your family to make that verse a priority. Next, talk that idea over with your spouse. Finally, discuss it as a family.

Questions:

1. What goals have you had for your children?

2. Do you need to re-evaluate any of those goals or make any new ones?

3. Does your family need to make any adjustments in order to make your (new) goals come about?

4. What do you do in your life that would qualify as seeking first God's kingdom? How can you build on that foundation?

Family Discipleship Minute 3: What's All This Then?

The last couple of posts aimed to convince you that you really can take responsibility for your children's spiritual development. Hopefully, you have at least become motivated to take a closer look at family discipleship. With that hope in mind, it is time to share some foundational thoughts on this topic.

If you live your life like most folks in middle America these days, you send your kids to school for professional educators to teach them reading, writing, and 'rithmetic, along with physical education, art, music, science, and history. You probably also send them to someone else to teach them to play sports, dance, play the piano, etc. Further, you probably take them to church and expect Sunday school teachers, AWANA leaders, children's ministers, youth ministers, pastors, and so forth to teach your kids about God, impart biblical knowledge to them, and instill biblical values within them. We have really become a culture where parents, in a variety of ways, "farm out" the training of their children to other people.

Families today hand over the education of their children to others for a variety of reasons. Possible explanations for this may include time constraints, a feeling that others can do a better job of teaching a specific subject than we can, a mindset that we are not successful as parents unless our children turn out a certain way, and no telling how many others. However, even if there are good reasons to allow others to educate our children, is that always the best idea? More importantly, is it the biblical idea?

 

As Christians, our desires should not be what is best from a societal perspective, but what is right from a spiritual perspective. For example, society says a person is successful if he makes a lot of money; whereas God says someone is successful if she loves Him and loves her neighbor. Further, just because someone is better at something than we are does not automatically mean we should allow them to do it for us. How can a person ever grow at something if he continuously turns that task over to another? When it comes to children, the Bible puts the responsibility (and privilege) for their spiritual development squarely on the shoulders of parents. This does not mean that parents should not seek and utilize the help of others. However, it does mean that parents must always take the lead role in discipling their children, regardless of whether or not they feel equipped to do so.

This principle, that parents should lead their children spiritually, shows up in direct and indirect ways in the Bible. The story of Adam and Eve serves as an indirect example. Genesis 4:3-4 relate that Cain and Able both brought offerings to the Lord. Why did they do that? The only plausible explanation is that Adam and Eve taught them to worship God.

Direct teaching of this principle shows up in Deuteronomy 6 and Ephesians 6, among other places. Deuteronomy 6 is a chapter of great importance to Jews and should be to Christians as well. The chapter records Moses’s instruction to the Israelites regarding how to dwell in the promised land as God’s covenant people. They needed to love God, to internalize His commands, and to “impress them on your children.” The idea that parents should nurture their children’s relationships with God is a crucial theme in this chapter. Further, the use of masculine pronouns in the Hebrew text indicates that this responsibility falls directly to the fathers. This does not mean that mothers do not do this too or that it is wrong for mothers to shoulder this job when the father neglects it.

This principle is not one simply for the Old Testament. It is for all of God’s covenant people as Ephesians 6 demonstrates. Verse 4 of this chapter is a direct command exhorting fathers to “bring [your children] up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” This does not exclude allowing your children to sit under the authority of biblically qualified elders and teachers. However, it certainly indicates that the parent must do more than merely expose kids to other’s leadership. 

Give Deuteronomy 6 a careful reading. In my opinion, it is really difficult to walk away from this text without realizing how seriously God expects His people to take their relationship with Him and how throroughly devoted parents should be to the spiritual coaching of their offspring. I hope that after reading the chapter you will be excited to begin the process of serving God as a family. But, even if you are not, make it a matter of prayer and remember last week's admonition that you will not be doing this alone.

Some questions to ponder or comment on:

What do you feel comfortable teaching your children rather than sending them to someone else to learn?
What are your immediate goals for your child?
What kind of adult do you want him/her to be?
Are you feeling excitement or fear about family discipleship? 

Family Discipleship Minute (2)

 The theme of this series is that you, Christian parent, are responsible to be the primary spiritual trainer of your children, and you should not relinquish this responsibility to anyone else. The purpose of this specific post is to continue last week's encouragement; you CAN do this. Last week's ideas were very logistical and practical. Today, the focus is more on spiritual reality that will, hopefully, inspire you to embrace this role and begin your family discipleship journey.

Last week's article proposed that lack of time, lack of knowledge, and lack of skill are three common obstacles causing parents to shy away from bringing spiritual formation into the home. The post argued that these obstacles can be overcome with some practical ideas, and today will expand on that to say that you can count on God to empower you to accomplish this.

You may have heard people say that God will not put anything on you that you cannot handle. I think that notion stems from a bad understanding of 1 Corinthians 10:13 which says, "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." Clearly, this verse says that God will not allow you to face a temptation that you are not capable of resisting. Somehow, people have jumped from that truth to the idea that God will not give you assignments you cannot handle. The Christian life simply does not work that way. God gives us assignments we cannot handle to force us to rely on Him, and so that His power will be on display for us, and others, to see.

Think about the Israelites and their assignment to conquer the promised land. In Numbers 13 and 14 the people had to decide whether to obey God and enter the land or disobey. They chose to disobey because they did not believe they could handle the assignment. Forty years later, the next generation of Israelites faced the same decision. They entered the land and engaged the seemingly impenetrable city of Jericho. Joshua 6 describes the victory which was obviously accomplished through God's power and not that of the Israelites. This illustrates the principle above, God gives you assignments you cannot do so that He can accomplish it through you.

So it is, Mom and Dad. God is asking you to do a job that is daunting and harder than you can do by yourself. The beauty of it is that you do not have to do it by yourself. He, by the power of His Spirit, will equip you to train your children the way He wants you to. What you have to do, like the Israelites, is take that first step of obedience. Get started training your children and count on God to empower you to do what you think you cannot.

Some questions to think about. Feel free to discuss in the comments:

What obstacles do you face to discipling your kids?
What goals do you have for your children?
What accomplishments have you had in your life that were clearly due to the power of God?

View the Future Wisely

 This morning I went over to Pecan Grove to pick up some more pecans. I've been twice this fall with great results both times. Today, however, was different. The nuts have already begun to go bad. For every good one I found, there were probably four or five that were already split open or mildewed. Realizing that I had waited too long to go back started a stream of thoughts.

The end of this year's pecan crop is a signal that fall is winding down and winter is only a couple of weeks away. Of course, here in central Texas winter doesn't change things too much. It does not get extremely cold and things are not covered in a blanket of snow and ice (at least not very often.) However, winter is a reminder that everything is constantly changing and there is nothing any of us can do to slow or stop the march of time.

Thinking about the changing seasons and the march of time, I  began to ponder the future in two ways. First, I wondered what changes the coming year would bring. In my family right now, there are multiple health concerns as well as financial concerns. Further, the larger socio-political issues of our day weigh heavily on my psyche. Basically, I was falling to the temptation of anticipating the future with worry.

On the other hand, I was excited about next year's pecan crop. I realized that had I invested a little more time and not procrastinated I could have harvested a bumper stash of the little treasures, and I was gleeful about the thought of picking up pounds and pounds of pecans next fall. This reveals another danger in a hyper-focus on the future. Namely, we can be so mindful of something yet to come that we fail to experience and enjoy the present. My parents used to tell me, "don't wish your life away." We can be so intent on wishing for the next thing which excites us that we overlook the present joys.

In a few minutes of time, I was guilty of two flawed ways of facing the future. The Bible offers us a more balanced approach to dealing with things to come. First, we should not worry about the future because God is in control. Jesus teaches about this in Matthew 6. Verses 25-26 say, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" He continues the discussion for several verses, but the idea is apparent. Worrying about things does not help anything. Better to trust God, seek Him, and live life one day at a time.

Second, while we should not worry about the future, we also should not ignore it. We need to anticipate the future enough to make reasonable plans. Further, the plans we make should be guided by our best understanding of God's leadership in our lives. James 4:13-15 says, "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.'"

Time marches on indeed. As Christians we should plan reasonably for the future, but we should not worry about it or focus so intently on it that we miss the good things God has for us today. We should use our time wisely to build His kingdom, finding the joy He offers in each moment.

Family Discipleship Minute (1)

 Last week I committed to begin posting ideas for Christian parents. My hope is to help you be the primary spiritual trainers of your family. I do not presume to teach you. Rather, I hope to encourage you, assist you, point you towards helpful resources, and provide a place where others in the same boat can ask questions of one another. Today I want to be an encouragement by trying to help you see past some obstacles. 

Perhaps the three biggest things that people see as barriers to leading their families spiritually are lack of knowledge, lack of skill, and lack of time. In other words, parents feel that they do not know enough about the Bible or basic Christian doctrine to teach their children about theological matters, they do not believe they know how to lead their kids spiritually, and they do not believe they have the time in their busy schedules to make this happen in the home. I do not discount these beliefs and feelings. However, I believe you can overcome them, so let me give you a few practical counterpoints.

First, let's talk about the notion that you, as a parent, do not know enough about Scripture, theology, or God to train your children. For the sake of argument, let us assume a worst-case scenario in which the parents are brand-new Christians and truly know almost nothing about God or the Bible. To those parents, and all others, I would say, "start where you are." Nobody knows everything but everybody knows something. Even if you are a brand-new Christian, you know at least what it takes to share the gospel because someone shared it with you. You know what sin is because you recognized it in your own life. You know that Jesus is Savior and Son of God because you trusted him for salvation. If that is all you know, then that is where you start with your kids.

Teachers have an old saying, "give me a book and a week's head start and I can teach anyone anything." Parents, start where you are, grab The Book, and learn something from it. Next week, you will be able to teach your children what you learned. 

Second, let's talk about the skill factor. You may have trepidation because you do not think you know how to impart spiritual truth to your family. Pause and think just a minute. How much did you know about how to be a parent when your first child was born? Probably not much. Yet, how much have you taught your children since then. Did you teach your kids to bathe themselves, get dressed, bush their teeth, tie their shoes, use proper manners, ride a bike, get along with their siblings, ask for help, throw a ball, bake cookies, or anything else? You may have failed on your first attempts at these things, but you eventually succeeded (or you are still trying). Consider it on the job training. Well, on the job training is perfectly acceptable when figuring out the practical ways to pass faith on to your kids.

You can begin to learn how to lead your family spiritually by actually doing it. Further, you can get help in this department through a multitude of resources. You can find many of these types of resources online. To get you started, may I suggest checking out Visionary Family Ministries, Faith At Home, and D6. Obviously, these are not the only ministries that can help you in this arena. If you do not like these, simply search the web or talk to your pastor and I'm sure you can find one you like.

Third and finally, let's talk about the matter of time. The first counterpoint to the lack of available time is to use what I will call multi-purpose time. Multi-purpose time is time that is already blocked off in your schedule during which you could do more than one thing. For example, do you have a bedtime routine with your kids? If so, talk to them about God while you are getting them ready for bed. Do you  eat at least one meal each week together as a family? Use this mealtime to discuss a Bible verse. Do you wake your kids up in the morning? Sit on the bed and pray with them while you are trying to get them up. Do you drive your kids to school? Instead of listening to the radio or talking on the phone, talk about Sunday's sermon on the way to school on Monday. See what I mean? Use time that is already blocked off to kill two birds with one stone.

Now I have another counterpoint to the time objection, but you may not like it. At the risk of sounding trite, let me suggest to you that we make time for what is important to us. Do you have time to play games on social media? Do you have time to work? Do you have time to see friends? Do you have time to exercise? Do you have time for little league? Do you have time for date night? Do you have time for the evening news? Do you have time to read the paper? Do you have time for PTA meetings, cub scouts, and dance classes? If you have time for things like that, but you do not have time for family discipleship, then you probably need to rethink your priorities.

That last sentence may have sounded harsh. The truth is, I want you to learn from my mistakes. When my kids came along, I had many ideas for teaching them to love Jesus, but life got busy, and I did not manage to practice everything I thought I would. Now, frankly, I regret it. Put boundaries in your life and make family discipleship a priority. I firmly believe that when your kids head off to college you will be very glad you made the time for spiritual things.

In summary, if you think you do not know enough to lead your family spiritually, then start where you are (but keep learning.) If you think you do not know how to lead your family spiritually, then simply start trying and learn as you go. If you think you do not have time for family discipleship, then use the time you do have and consider reprioritizing other times. Leading your family in spiritual matters may seem daunting. However, you can do it; just get started, and you and your kids will grow together.

Thanks for reading this, I hope you found it challenging but encouraging.

Starting Over With Aids for Christian Parents

 One year ago today, I lost my platform for instructing Christian teens and parents. I say "lost;" some would say I gave it up and others would say it was taken from me. Which of those scenarios bears the most resemblance to reality is immaterial. What matters is that it was gone, and I was left to wonder if I was delusional. Had God really given me a message for the church and today's Christian parents? I have spent much time over the past year seeking God with regard to this question, and I believe that He truly has given me some timely insights for His people.

Believing that God has given me a message, I am obligated to share it. Therefore, my current endeavor is to use this blog as a new platform for encouragement, instruction, and training to Christian parents (and grandparents.) Of course, many others are already sharing similar messages through various media, and they do so much more eloquently and effectively than I ever could. Among those I commend to you Timothy Paul Jones, Rob Reinow, Ron Hunter, Will and Meeke Addison, Mark Holmen, and Voddie Baucham Jr. to name a few.

The writings, pod casts, videos, and in person teachings of those listed above and their ministries are outstanding. Then why do I think I should add my voice to the mix? First, I will not so much be adding my voice as echoing what these (and others) have been saying. The message is important and there are still many who have not heard or heeded it. Second, my goal is to try to present you with bite sized portions. Rather than giving you a long article, a podcast, an entire book, or a two-day conference, I hope to simply provide a five to ten minute read that will give you something to chew on, and/or apply, as you go about training your children that week.

Maybe you are wondering what "the message" I keep talking about is? It's very simple. It is your responsibility to be the primary spiritual leader of your children. You should not relinquish this job to your church or anyone else. Unfortunately, most Christian parents have already done this on two levels. One, they have willingly surrendered this job to leaders at their church. Second, they have also, without realizing it, allowed secular teachers and coaches to play a huge role in "discipling" their children. Hopefully, I can convince you of these things, but also can be your personal cheer leader encouraging you and providing practical tips along the way.

I'm excited about this fresh start. Please, check back here once a week to take a peek at the content. I pray it will be helpful to you. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Observations from Church-hopping Part 3

 This makes more sense with the explanation from part 1 which is here.  Part 2 is here. 

Time to wrap up some thoughts on our church visits over the past few months. Some things were good and some were bad; at least in my opinion. What about the ugly? Well, there was nothing theologically ugly which is wonderful. But, as mentioned in earlier posts we're not venturing out to churches that don't have a solid reputation so it is really not a surprise. To be totally honest, there was nothing ugly in any of the services we've participated in, so I'll just put one more "bad" item here in order to have a part 3.

The last bad thing is pretty common. My guess would be you would see it in any church you visited other than the tiniest ones. I suppose if you look at it from a certain perspective it is good and not bad, but to me it is a depressing and negative phenomenon. Here it is. It's sad to see ladies coming to worship while their husbands stay home (or go to the lake or golf course or whatever). Come on guys, step up and get in the game. 

Seriously, if  you're in church leadership may I suggest to you to stop trying so hard to reach children. Reach their fathers and let the fathers reach their own kids. 

The church-hopping will continue this Sunday. If future visits yield new info I'll report it on this blog.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Observations from Church-hopping Part 2

 You can read part 1 of this topic here.  Basically, I'm sharing some thoughts from our experiences over the last four months visiting a different church each week. At this point, we are not looking for one to join. Rather, we are simply trying to relax and enjoy worshiping without any responsibilities. Plus, we just want to learn how different churches operate their services. We have enjoyed our time, but there have been a few negative things.

The Bad

Now before I upset anyone, let me just say that most of what I am about to relate is only "bad" in my opinion. I'm sharing based on my preferences more than biblical precepts or principles. I am very aware that there are plenty of people who absolutely love the things that I dislike. You can take my ideas and consider if others might also feel that these things are bad (in which case you might want to make application). If you don't think they would, then at least maybe you'll be entertained for a minute.

The first thing that I'm identifying as bad in our church visits is how poor churches are at nailing the friendliness factor. Obviously, as Christians we want to be warm and welcoming to anyone who enters our meetings. We want them to feel loved so that they will be attracted to Jesus. One complicating factor is that humans come in a wide variety of personality types and what one might consider as friendly behavior, another might consider as too invasive or too much too soon.

Let me clarify that I am not speaking here about the official time of welcoming guests (although that time can be hard to nail too). I'm just talking about  how friendly people were to us when we were entering the campus, finding our way around, waiting for the service to start, leaving the service, etc. Unfortunately, most churches were underwhelming in this department. In some churches we were completely ignored or spoken to only minimally and with little joy or enthusiasm. On the other end of the spectrum, a church or two was way over the top. You really can be too casual and too personal with people when you are trying to make them feel welcome. Greeters and church members have to remember that people like their personal space and do not want to feel like you are trying to sell them something. Also, it takes time to build relationships. Don't try to act like you are someone's long lost best friend when you've just met them moments ago.

Why is this important? People form an opinion about your organization in the first seven minutes they spend on your campus. If you ignore them or overwhelm them in those seven minutes they are less likely to come back. Fortunately, a couple of the churches we visited did get this right. They made us feel welcomed and seemed genuinely interested in us. But, they did not overwhelm us or try to be too familiar. 

Bad thing number two- -annoying worship leaders. First of all, don't sing the same chorus for 15 minutes. Second, don't do medlies. Just pick some good songs and sing them individually. Let them speak. Third, I really don't care to see you hopping around, jumping to and fro, swaying back and forth, looking like you're constipated, beating your chest, flailing your arms, and so forth. Just stand there and smile and sing the song. If you want to lift a hand every now and then, go ahead. But don't make a big production of it. I didn't come to see a show and hopefully neither did anyone else. Fourth, don't tell me what to do. I don't need you to tell me to "put my hands together" or "raise your hands to Jesus" or whatever else you think I should do. I'm going to sing the song to Jesus and if I feel the need to do something else, that is between Him and me.

Bad thing number three- -bad sound mixing. If your instruments are turned up so loud that I cannot hear anyone singing, that's too loud. If the guitar is so loud that I cannot hear the melody from the keyboard, that's annoying. If the band is so loud that I can feel the base in my chest, that's ridiculous. If you have multiple singers but I can only hear one of them, that's annoying and a waste of time and talent. 

Bad thing number four- -Light shows. I know they are trendy and cool. I know they add ambiance. I know that you feel like you have to compete with the entertainment industry and lots of colored lights whirling around the sanctuary make you feel like you are. The reasons to have them are many. Personally, I don't think any of them are valid. However, if light shows make you happy I can deal with them . . . as long as you keep the spotlights OUT of my eyes!

Bad thing number five- -topical preaching. Okay, I know that sometimes there is a good reason to do this (I actually did it the other day when I was filling in for somebody). But for the most part you should be preaching expositionally and systematically through God's word. Let the text speak for itself and let God speak through the text. He knows what people need.

Bad thing number six- -churches with very few children in the service. Obviously, Covid has changed every church's attendance pattern but it is incredibly frustrating to me to see a worship service with few or no children. Come on moms and dads, let's get with it.

Gotta stop for now. Part 3 coming soon.

A Very Timely Message That You Should Internalize

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i60eQZPG5XM

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Observations from Church Hopping

"And let us watch out for one another to provoke love and good works, not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching."  Hebrews 10:24-25

Introduction

In November of 2020, after 25 years of ministerial service in a local church, I resigned from my post. Almost every Sunday since then, my wife, younger son, and I have visited a different church. Our purpose has not been to find a new church home but just to enjoy worshiping in different settings with different people. We wanted to see how folks do church in a variety of contexts other than what we were so familiar with. Honestly, it has been a breath of fresh air.

Along the way, someone suggested that we catalog our visits in a blog. I considered doing kind of a "play by play" blog recounting what we experienced each week. However, I was afraid it might hurt feelings if I disparaged someone's church or a favored leader. [Note, I know that basically nobody reads this blog so the chances of hurting someone's feelings are pretty minuscule. Still, I thought the respectful thing would be simply to write generically about what we have experienced.] Therefore, I decided to limit the writing to some general observations from our journey. I hope that it will edify and maybe even evoke contemplation of how you do church.

Before I get into what I've noticed, allow me to make a couple of disclaimers. One, I am unapologetically a Southern Baptist so my ideas are clearly slanted in favor of Baptist practices. That does not mean I'm looking down on you if you belong to a different denomination; we can agree to disagree about non-essential doctrines and practices. Two, this journey is not over as we have several more churches we want to visit. Therefore, I may update these thoughts as we have more experiences. Three, I am very aware that my opinions are not facts (I'm aware of this because of how often my wife tells me 😉). So when I say things that may seem critical, I'm not trying to cut anyone down, just telling you what I think. I realize that we all have preferences and what works for one may not work for another.

The Good

We have seen a number of good things through this process. Just to give you a little context, we have been to nine different churches (I think), including six different denominations and one non-denominational church so far. These churches have ranged in size from about 20 congregants to several hundred. The musical components have ranged from one leader with recorded tracks to highly produced, highly talented worship bands, and everything in between. Further, and this is interesting to me, all the preachers were very educated and had ministry experience. Finally, and this too fascinates me, partly because of the holiday season we did not get to hear the senior pastor at each church, which was a disappointment. However, we found that the "fill-ins" were very knowledgeable and well spoken.

So, what have been some of the good things we have experienced? One thing is simply the presence of God. It has been uplifting to be able to meet with God in such a variety of settings. Yes, I am Baptist. But it is refreshing to know that God shows up in the gatherings of my non-Baptist brethren, and refreshing to know that I can participate in worship with them.

A second thing has been the unity in the body of Christ. Everywhere we went, I felt very at home knowing that I was surrounded by brothers and sisters. We may worship in different places and in slightly different ways, but there is truly a connection that we have in Christ. I have honestly sensed this connection in the various churches we have visited despite being surrounded by strangers most weeks.

A third thing has been the preeminence of Jesus. Granted we have not wandered in to a church we knew to be progressive. In fact, we have known something of the reputation of each church so far. Yet, it has been exciting to note the exaltation of Christ in music and message each week. Truly we are, His church.

A fourth good thing has been the dependence on the word of God. For the most part, Scripture was taught, respected, and encouraged everywhere we have been. Again, we have intentionally not visited churches that we know have a low view of Scripture. However, it has been encouraging to see how the Bible is viewed over such a diverse spectrum of congregations.

A fifth and final good thing has been prayer. Honestly, it should not be a surprise that prayer played a key role in all these services. However, you (like I) have probably heard stories of pastors and congregations that do not pray enough. You have probably heard various leaders call for more prayer in the church. I do not doubt that we need more prayer in the church. But it surely has been good to witness the place that prayer has among all these congregations as they gather on Sunday mornings.

Well, this has become rather lengthy. I'm thankful for the good things we have had the pleasure of being part of as we have visited local churches. I must confess, though, that I did not appreciate everything. What were some bad things? I'll save those for the next post- -which will hopefully be within a couple of days.

Thanks for taking the time to stop by.