My plan for this
post was to begin discussing the idea of laying a theological foundation for
family and for church. That foundation then guides your behavior. That was my
plan, but something triggered me last week and I’ve decided to get on my soap
box for a minute. Next week’s post will (probably) start examining the basics
of a theology of family. Until then, here’s my rant. . .
If you read job
descriptions for children’s ministers and youth ministers, as well as the
children’s and youth ministry sections of church websites, you will frequently
see some version of this phrase, “our kids have fun and still learn about
Jesus.” The verbiage is not always identical, but the sentiment almost always
conveys the idea that the children (I’m using “children” to refer to school age
kids, K-12) in their programs will have fun and simultaneously learn the Bible,
learn about God, grow spiritually, and so forth. Now, I’m not anti-fun. I do
not think it is wrong to have fun while doing some spiritual things. However,
let me translate “our kids have fun and still learn about Jesus” for you.
The leaders of
these programs are essentially saying that they realize young people are
inundated with entertainment options. Young people have electronic devices,
toys, games, bicycles, movies, skate parks, trampoline parks, amusement parks,
swimming pools, concerts, bowling alleys, rage rooms, comedy clubs, party
barges, sports cars, sporting events, etcetera ad nauseum, and those churches
are scared to death that their programs will not be enticing to young people
who have so many options at their disposal. Based on that fear, they include a
host of gimmicks in their meetings including games, skits, competitions,
prizes, free food, and so forth. The thinking is that they can compete with
secular entertainment for the attention of young people. Then, when the
students are hooked by how fun things at the church are, they can hit them with
the truth of Scripture.
That methodology
sounds logical and churches in the US have been practicing it, and perfecting
it in many ways, for the past few decades. However, in my opinion, this method
has several flaws. Flaw number one, it bows down to consumerism in the church. In
this paradigm, children’s and youth ministries constantly have to reinvent
themselves in an effort to “one up” the church down the street, or the kids
will simply move along to wherever the most fun is. Therefore, young people
learn that church is about going where they are most entertained which is light
years from how we ought to view church.
Flaw number two,
this model presents a false idea about what it means to follow Jesus. When children
spend year after year in programs that are all about how fun and non-boring their
classes and services are, they eventually receive the message that being a
disciple of Christ is a self-serving endeavor. Eventually, individuals mature
enough to realize that life is not all about having fun. In fact, they realize
life is full of very real challenges which they have not been equipped to
handle by the church, so they look for solutions elsewhere.
Flaw number three
is that it is virtually impossible for 95% of churches to provide the kind of
entertainment young people can find elsewhere. Sooner or later, the “fun”
aspect of church wears off or gives way to institutions that are actually more
fun, and as with flaw two, the person then leaves the church in search of something
better.
Flaw number four,
in a sense, this method of spiritual training is dishonest; it is a bait and
switch. The leaders attempt to lure children to church with the promise of fun,
food, free stuff, or other rewards, then eventually get around to the real
reason they want kids there which is to expose them to Christianity. We are so
accustomed to doing church this way, we don’t even realize the duplicity. I
suggest you would not settle for this methodology in any of the other
activities you put your kids in. Why should it be okay in the church?
Flaw number five, this is the paradigm that has brought us to where we are as the western evangelical church. We do not do a very good job of making disciples, but those statistics are for another post.
Flaw number six (there are probably other flaws here, but I’ll make this the bottom of my
list), it is built upon the notion of an anemic god rather than the almighty
God of Scripture. Think about what people adhering to this form of discipleship
are really saying. They’re saying, “we know our god cannot compete with all the
entertaining things you have access to, so we are going to put some spice in
our services to make following him more palatable.” They are saying, “we know
you’re not really mature enough to handle big spiritual truths, so we are going
to simply entertain you for thirty minutes and then give you a few minutes of
Jesus stories.” They are saying, “we know our god cannot really make a
difference in what you’re facing in everyday life, so we are going to plan some
things that will give you an endorphin rush. Then, we’ll throw in a little
Bible study to spiritualize it all.” Is this really a healthy way to present the
King of Kings and Lord of Lords? Is Jesus, in and of Himself, not enough? Can
we not offer young people a relationship with their Creator and expect Him to
be sufficient to capture their attention as He captures their hearts?
Please pay
attention friends. I am NOT saying that there is no place for games, skits, object lessons, food, and fun in ministry. These things can be used to build fellowship, to
teach lessons, and to meet legitimate physical needs. HOWEVER, when fun becomes
a primary objective, consumerism is always the end result, and the ministry
will likely fall into one or more of the flaws I’ve outlined. Fun and games do a good
job of filling up classrooms, youth rooms, and even entire buildings, but they
do a very poor job of making disciples.
What does this
have to do with family discipleship? One, if your kids are only getting
spiritual milk at church, they better be getting some meat at home. Two, you
are responsible for protecting your kids spiritually. If they are growing up in
a ministry that puts entertainment ahead of discipleship, you can get involved
and help the ministry grow into what it ought to be.
