Please go on a hypothetical journey with me. I'm talking mostly to dads right now, but this will work for moms as well. I'd like you to put yourself into the scenario described below. Ready? Here we go.
Imagine that you have taken your son (or daughter) to school. He is in somewhere around 3rd to 6th grade (although it could be higher or lower); you pick. For some reason (you pick again) you don't have to be at work yet so you are just enjoying the morning. Your spouse contacts you to say that Junior has left an important item in his room and ask if you would mind dropping it by the school.
{At this point we could get into a discussion about whether or not you should bail your child out. But that is not what this blurb is about today. So please just bear with me and don't get sidetracked by that issue.}
You decide to help out so you retrieve the item and head back to the school. Normally, you would just drop the item at the office and school personnel would make sure your student receives it. However, you have heard some stories on the radio about public schools not allowing Christian parents on campus. This bothers you. In fact, you remember your elementary teachers telling your parents that they were always welcome in their classroom. You also remember that it is your tax dollars that fund the school. In a way, you are part owner of the place. Mostly though, you remember that this is your child- -not the school's. You can see him anytime you want. And you decide you want to see your son.
Of course the school's receptionist does not want to allow you down the hall as that "might disrupt the educational environment". However, you manage to persuade her and she issues you a visitor pass. As you approach your son's classroom you notice that students are at the whiteboard working math problems. Your son is one of them and you decide to be a fly on the wall and see how he does.
As you are peeking through the crack in the door the teacher suddenly starts screaming at your child. "Eddy, what is wrong with you? You know that's not how to do that problem. We did problems just like this yesterday. You should be able to get it right. You weren't paying attention. That's the sorriest excuse for a solution I've seen all day. My grandmother could do better than that and she has dementia." Blah, blah, blah.
What would you do? I'm guessing that most of you would be upset. Many of you would confront the teacher. Many of you would go to the administration demanding that the teacher be reprimanded or that your son be moved to a different class. Some of you might even take it all the way to the school board asking that the teacher be dismissed. Right?
Why would that be a problem? Because here in the west, we desire to live in a civilized society. We believe in the rule of law. Beyond that we want our culture ordered by certain morals, ethics, norms, and mores. The teacher's behavior is considered unacceptable according to those things by which we order our society. We do not believe that adults should treat one another like that and we definitely do not feel that adults should treat children like that.
O, but wait a minute. I suspect that you have just revealed a double standard that you are okay with. You probably would not allow a teacher to treat your child like that, unless the learning environment were a field or a court and the teacher was called "coach". You see, we have created a subculture called youth sports in which many, if not most, of the values of a civilized society do not apply.
In this subculture parents let adults treat their children like second class citizens. Parents let their children treat other children like second class citizens. Parents let their children's worth be measured by how well they perform in this subculture. Parents send the message to their kids that as long as you are in this parallel world that we call sports, then you can act differently than you can in the other areas of your life. Of course, that message eventually becomes, you can act differently than other people in any part of life because people who are good at sports are special.
We have created this world. Yet, we act surprised when athletes beat up their girlfriends or yell obscenities in public buildings. Then, we want to act shocked and morally superior when authorities do not punish these athletes to our satisfaction. How on earth can we be surprised at behaviors like this when we have nurtured them within the sports subculture from the time our children start playing ball at the age of four or five?
What am I suggesting? Teach your kids to follow the golden rule in every aspect of their lives. Don't put up with coaches or other parents yelling at or demeaning kids in any venue. If it is not okay in your home or in a classroom or in your place of worship, then it is not okay on a playing field. If you coach kids, give them the respect they deserve. Don't scream at them. Don't demean them. Remember that most of them will be done with their athletic careers by the time they leave high school or sooner. However, the lessons you teach them with your actions will stay with them their whole lives.
